South island Shenanigans
by Ookami The Wolf 1
Summary: Join our halpess cast as they roam around Mobius looking for fun, adventure, treasure, and trouble! Pop culture references and spoofs abound in this ongoing fanfic.
1. Intro

Intro

Hey there, it's "The Wolf" again, and have I got a treat for you! This fan fiction takes the characters

from all the sonic worlds and throws them all into one. Everyone has a mission, and that mission

is… to have as much fun as possible! Everybody only cares about having adventures and looking for

fun (and trouble)! Nobody has responsibilities, there's no wars or death, just crazy wackiness! This is my comedy answer to my stories, which are usually dark and dramatic. Join Sonic, his best friends, (and every eligible girl) as they discover just how far they can go. Witty and sarcastic dialogue abounds. We've got fighting tournament, treasure hunts, extreme sports, travel, chases, explosions, a flood of sake and beer, even some T&A. Spoofs? I spoof everything! Noir films, romantic comedies, sci-fi, survival flicks, everything! To describe it in a nutshell think of a cross between the EXCEL SAGA anime and the LUPIN III manga, but with furries! Watch for cameos by famous furries like the Samurai pizza cats and non-furries like the Dirty Pair!

While there's plenty of fan service and innuendo, this is not a porno fanfic. It's more like the public bath scenes in RANMA ½. There is also occasional language and possible violence (?) so I'm giving it an 'M' rating to stay safe and keep my options open. While cross-over characters have cameos, at its base this is a STH story only and will be listed as such.

Chjapter updates are sporatic at best, as I have many other projects that I'm working on

This story will consist of chapters that will be for the most part independent and can be read out of order. The only predictable thing about this story is that it will always be unpredictable! Sonic and his friends' adventures will be set in the worlds of the original games, i.e. South island, the Floating Island, ect. Its main premise is travel and adventure. Sonic is always cocky, but now so is the rest of the cast. Characters who had heavy responsibilities (like Princess Sally running a country or Knuckles guarding the Master emerald) will act like normal irresponsible teenagers. Speaking of which, here's our cast lineup and their personality for these stories:

_**Our Cast**_

The Guys;

Sonic: likes running, acts cocky. Likes to think he's the leader. Known to date 6+ girls at once. What else is new.

Knuckles: more brawns than brains, Knux used 12 ½ gallons of super-duper glue on the master emerald to keep it from ever being stolen again. He can now treasure hunt at his leisure.

Tails: Sonic's sidekick. A genius who makes wacky invention that usually backfire with hilarious results. Likes to pretend that the 'Tornado' is actually his biplane and not Sonics'.

Bean: Bomb-boy sticks with bark and does enough talking for both of them. Not on the side of evil and known to hang with Sonic's crew. Never seen without his trademark ascot. Likes bombs, explosives, and TNT.

Bark: Strong and silent (mostly). Likes wrestling and mountain climbing. Known to race cars.

Vector: Our hapless detective and leader of the chaotix. Loves money. Hates bills. Oftentimes takes jobs without finding out the details, much to the charringe of his colleagues.

Espio: The stealth member of the team, Espio is a highly disciplined ninja. Can disappear on cue.

Vector usually takes advantage of his skills.

Charmy: goofy, usually spouts nonsense, and always nauseatingly happy.

Mighty: Ray's best (and only) friend. Tough and super strong.

Ray: Mighty's traveling companion. Somewhat annoying to the point that only mighty can stand him.

Shadow: The ultimate guy. Ultimately. Not moody, just a loner.

_**The eye candy—I mean girls.**_

Sally: Sonic's main squeeze. She left the kingdom to her brother because "Running a kingdom is

boooring."(direct quote, Mobius Free Press).gets drunk easily and often, has been known to get high on weed. Irresponsible and totally the opposite of her normal personality.

Bunnie: Sassy, sexy, southern. Likes to tinker with her metal appendages and explore the world.

Mina: sings every word she says. Always waaaay too happy

Fiona: adventurous, treasure hunter, loves money.

Rouge: Spy and treasure hunter (sense a theme here?)

Nicole. Computer. Provides info to the cast. Also has a large amount of porn she claims is for 'research'. It boggles the mind.

Julie-su: Lara's mom. They're usually seen together; sometimes as Tag team wrestlers. residents of the floating island.

Lara-su: Julie's daughter-from-the-future. Why is she here? Because she is, that's why! Does her presence mess with the space-time paradox? Maybe, but nobody cares! Also lives on the floating island.

Lien-da: constantly on the run from the cops since her favorite pastime is shoplifting. Julie's sister, and not surprisingly also a residence of the floating island. Not evil, just neutral.

Blaze: serious with a fiery temper. Often the voice of reason.

Amy 'Rosy the Rascal' Rose: Switches between the calmer Amy we know and a crazed stalker. Pulls an endless supply of hammers out of thin air.

Hershey cat: Constantly losing clothes at random. Also unmarried. Need I say more.

Tikal: Lives on the floating island with a tentacle monster. Also runs a hot springs.

_**The Baddies**_

Eggman: a scientific genius with an I.Q. of over 300 (yada yada yada you've heard this before).continually trying to build a theme park based on himself. Our heroes keep fouling up his plans, so he created the Metals, a series of robotic doppelgangers. To aid them he's got his E-series, which don't seem to work for more than 5 minutes without breaking.

Nack: Bounty Hunter. Thief. Gun for hire. Never without his dual Bren Ten pistols. Also uses a Dragunov sniper rifle. Will take any job for the right price.

Nic weasel: always arguing with her brother because they seem to always get hired for the same jobs.

_**People you won't see unless it's to drop them off a cliff!**_

Cream & Cheese: annoying loli-con and her blue pest, er, pet.

Vanilla: the loli's mother who smiled so much her face froze.

Big & froggy : a fat idiot whose pet keeps escaping because he cant stand his moronic owner.

Any parents or responsible adults.

_**Characters you might see**_

Rob-o the Hedge

Silver Hedgehog

Dulcy Dragon

Ash the Mongoose

Monkey Khan

_**Reference info.**_

Money: The unit of money is the Mobium. 100 M's = $1.00 American.

Tech you'll see: Hover cars and regular cars

Supercomputers

Mobile phones

Tech you won't see: laser guns

Warping

I-pads

Locals: South Island – Sub tropical, large rural areas

- population 0.9 million

- average diameter 200 miles

- main city: Starlight (pop 700,000)

- largest zone: Green hill (pop 150,000)

Westside Island - resort island, tropical

- population 1.1 million

- average diameter 75 miles

- main city: Metropolis (pop 900,000)

- largest zone: Hill Top (pop 75,000)

The Floating Island - reclusive, climates vary from deserts to tundra.

- population 15 million

- average diameter 100 miles

- main city: Echidnaopolis (pop 14,000,000)

- largest zone: Desert zone (pop 15,000)

The Mainland - Acorn Kingdom

- Main city: Mobotropolis (pop 12,000,000)

- Kingdom of Mercia

- Main city ? (pop 100,000)

- Republic of Station Square

- Main city: Station Square (pop 25,000,000)

- The Dragon Kingdom

Main city: Chun-nan

Other - Never Lake

- The Miracle Planet

Now that you know the premise, cast, and locations, click to the next chapter and start reading this story!


	2. Travelers' Tails

_**Chapter 1: Travelers' Tails **_

South island

The Green Hill Zone

"I bet you're all wondering why I called this urgent meeting." Said Sonic the Hedgehog.

He was standing in front of Amy 'Rosy the Rascal' Rose, Princess Sally Alicia Acorn, Mighty the Armadillo, Ray the Squirrel, Bean the Dynamite Duck, Bark Polar bear, Miles 'Tails' Prower, Lien-Da, and Fiona the False Fox.

"Not really." Said Tails. 

"No." Said Sally.

"THIS is an urgent meeting?" yawned Bean.

"Can it wait till after lunch?" Quipped Ray.

"Ha ha, very funny. The reason I called you here is that I decided that life here was getting boring…"

"You called us here to state the obvious?"

"NO. I decided that we should do what everyone in there late teens should do…"

"But I'm only 13." Said Tails

"I was being general! Anyway, where was I, oh yeah. I think we should all travel the world!

"Great Idea Sonic, except for the fact that travel is expensive and were all, like, flat broke." Said Fiona.

"Money? What do we need money for? This is Mobius. We can walk or take our bicycles. Food grows wild nearly everywhere and water is free. It's warm enough to sleep outside. We should hardly let the fact that were all broke beyond belief stop us."

"He's got a point." Said Mighty.

"But knowing us someone's gona need Bail money eventually." Piped in Ray.

"Another good point"

"Relax, if that happens well just have Bean do his stuff and break 'em out of jail." Said Sonic.

"But what about Eggman. He's still on the loose and keeps sending those stupid robots after us." Fiona said.

"Another good…"

"Would you stop saying that! Besides, he's been favoring his E-series lately. Those won't give us any trouble since they break down more often than Mighty's car. Now if he decides to use his Metal series, well, then we're screwed."

Elsewhere at Eggman's ultra top secret base in the scrap brain zone under the abandoned bowling ally where you definitely won't find a secret entrance behind the Virtua fighter machine…

"My metal rejuvenation project is almost complete and when it is I can finally destroy that cocky hedgehog and his merry band of freedom fighter and then I, Dr. Robotnik, can finally turn all of south island into eggmanland, the world's largest and most expensive amusement park. Since only one metal is done ill have to rely on my e series to get the job done for now. Arise Hyper Metal! When you find him… kill him! No, that's not right, oh well, just stay here for now."

Back with our intrepid travelers…

"So here's my plan." Continued Sonic." We all know Green Hill too well, so we'll skip this zone. I figure we'll explore the entire island and then head on over to Westside island. Everyone should go home eat lunch and pack. We can meet back here in 2 hours. Ok now let's go! Oh, only pack necessities like walkmans and food."

Everyone went home to eat and came back all packed, in fact everyone was back within an hour. Except they had packed with mixed results. Bean was carrying a suitcase marked 'high explosives'. Bark was wearing boxing shorts, gloves and had wrapped his wrists. Lien-Da was in a winter cap and coat and was on skis. Amy had brought all her tarot cards and all her other magical stuff in a bag that looked suspiciously like one stole from Felix the cat a while back. Sally was in a bikini, sun glasses and straw hat even though they covered up more than what she usually wore. Tails still had a sandwich hanging out of his mouth from lunch. Ray was in full Boy Scout uniform complete with campaign hat and had a full set of camping supplies in his backpack. Fiona was carrying a pickaxe, metal detector, and wearing a pit helmet.

"Alright, what is this? I thought you people to pack light and appropriately. Lien-Da, There is no skiing on any of the islands."

"But the ice cap zone…"

"Is on the floating isle. Amy, just how will all of your magical equipment help us? Sally, while that bikini emphasizes your assets we're not hitting the beach immediately. While I like the prospect of finding buried treasure, Fi, we don't even have a map. Ray is the only one of us who packed right. Tell them all what you've got, Ray.

"I've got a tent, sleeping bag, 4 changes of clothes for different environment, Pots, pans, and the entire contents of my fridge."

"Ok, Ray, while I value the fact that you're prepared, the truth is that we're all sleeping without tents, that the nights are too warm for blankets, and the fact that you don't even wear clothes is a bit of a problem. But bringing all of your food was a good idea. How much food do you have?

"A club sandwich."

Sonic sighed as everyone dumped their stuff.

"If everyone's done getting rid of all the unnecessary junk, we'll be off."

Sonic and everyone took off across the zone. it wasn't long before someone pointed out one of the flaws in Sonic's plan.

"Hey Sonic, what's our first stop?" Asked Tails.

"Well I figured we could go to Starlight City via the Marble zone."

"You do realize its 50 miles to the entrance of the Marble zone. It'll take us 3 days to get there."

Sonic stopped.

"Well" said sonic smiling as he scratched the back of his head" I had kinda forgotten the fact that you all can't run as fast as me. He he. Oops."

"Oh that's just great. Now what do we do?" Asked Lien-Da.

"We could do it MY way." Said Fiona with a sly grin on her face.

20 minutes later they were at a rural bus stop. Technically they were on the roof of a rural bus stop. A few minutes later a bus came along and stopped.

"When I give the signal we jump. Annnnd…NOW!"

Fi gave her whispered yell and they all jumped on the roof of the bus. The driver felt the bus shake but thought it was because a fat guy had just taken a window seat.

"You know," said Tails" I could have just hotwired the ticket dispenser and got us free passes."

"Yeah, but what would be the fun in that."

The bus took off and they sat there as the wind rushed by. Sonic turned on his walkman to a local techno station and they listened as they ate the last of their lunches. They went for almost an hour without getting into trouble. That was soon rectified. In the opposite direction came an Inter-zone cop.

"Crap, pigs! What do we d-do!" stammered Ray."

"Maybe he wont see us…" hoped Sonic.

Moments after the cop passed he pulled a 180 and hit his lights.

"…or maybe he will."

"DRIVER OF THE BUS, YOU HAVE HICHIKERS ON YOUR ROOF. PULL OVER IMMEDIATELY!" Called the cop over his loudspeaker.

The bus started to pull over.

"We're totally busted. How much time will we do for this?" asked Lien-Da.

"2 weeks or a 50,000 mobium fine. Each." Said Bark.

"When we stop make a dash for the woods. The cop won't follow us in there." Said Fiona.

The bus pulled of the road and the cop pulled up behind it. Everyone jumped off the roof and ran towards the thick undergrowth. To speed things up a little Sonic scooped up Sally and Tails took off flying. As Fiona ran she dropped some caltrops behind her. The cop got out of his car and took off after them, but learned very quickly not to walk over spiky ninja tools.

They ran for a mile before stopping. The cop had given up rather quickly, since he was one cop chasing 10 unidentified teens. That and the caltrops went through the soles of his shoes, Which hurt.

"See, I told you we would end up needing bail money." Said Ray.

"Relax. Besides, we weren't caught. And the timing couldn't be better." Said Sonic.

"Why?" Asked Tails.

"We're at the entrance to the marble zone."

Sonic pointed to the top of a nearby hill where there was a gateway made up of old Greek architecture.

"Well that's convenient." Noted Sally.

The ragged group walked up the hill, except Sonic who ran.

According to my 'Ultimate guide to South Island; 3233 edition' it says that the marble zone 'is a muntanous zone that is known for its greek-style ruins and natural hot springs. People usually stay away because the zone is made up of an active volcano, and rivers of lava are common."

"Tails," said Bean, " that book is already 3 years out of date."

"That doesn't matter. What Does is that this is the first step of our super deluxe travels. Through this ruinous gateway we will leave the comfort of green hill and get out into the world. Lets go."

"Hey Sonic," asked tails, "Is this the only way to the city?"

"No, why?"

"Because in there are a lot of volcanoes and danger and stuff."

"Exactly!"

They headed into the zone. it was very quiet and peaceful. There were no sounds of cars or people or airplanes or anything. It was very soothing and relaxing. So much so that soon everyone was smiling and felt like they didn't have a care in the world. Which they didn't.

It wasn't long before Sonic came up with another stupid idea.

"Maybe we should have a race. We could split into two teams."

"Sonic. I love that idea." Said Amy.

Fiona, Lein-Da, Sally, and Tails can go with me, and you all can go off by yourself.

"Why can't I go with you, Sonic?" Asked Amy

Well, uh, because… we have to let the other team have some girls, too.

He could hardly tell her that the real reason was because he looked at her as the stalker who can't be stopped.

"But just me?"

"We should draw straws." Suggested Mighty

"Why, I like the way the teams are"

"Because," Mighty whispered to Sonic," you know what happens to Amy when you try to get rid of her. Amy will go away and we'll get stuck with HER."

"On second thought drawing straws is a great idea."

They drew straws and divided into two teams. Mighty had the straws and rigged them to put Amy on the other team out of pity for Sonic. It ended up being Mighty, Amy, Ray, Bean, and Fiona vs Sonic Sally, Lien-Da, Bark, and then split up and took two different routs through the zone.

Team Mighty took the high route while team Sonic took the low route.

Soon team sonic came across a large cave. It was pretty dark inside. There were even some strange noises coming out of it.

"Hey sonic," Asked Sally, "It looks kinda dangerous and a little dark. Maybe we should go back."

"No way! If we go back we'll lose to the other team, and I bet mighty 100 mobiums we'd win."

"Well then, does anyone have a light?" Asked Lien-Da.

"Why? You don't smoke" said Ray

"I meant to illuminate the cave, numb nuts"

"I've got a keychain flashlight." Said Sally.

"Cool. Well, if there are no more objections I vote we get going before I loose money I don't have." Said Sonic

They ventured into the cave and went along slowly. Suddenly a flock of batbots flew past.

"Eeek, bats!"

"Is Eggman attacking us?"

"No. I think these are leftover from when he tried to take over the island the first time. Ya know, you sound kinda cute when you scream, Sally."

"It wasn't me."

"Lien-Da?"

"No"

They all looked at Tails.

"What, it wasn't me! Really"

"Tails it had to be you. There's no one else"

"What about bark?"

"You mean the guy who never speaks"

"Well, you try sounding manlier when you'r always voiced by girls!"

Back above ground we find team Mighty, who are not doing too well.

"I told you not to touch that boulder!" yelled Fiona.

If we go back in time about 5 minutes we'll fine the team just reaching the peak of a rather steep hill.

"wow what a climb. That was tiring" Said Ray.

"On the plus side the rest is all down hill." Said Amy with a sigh of relief.

"Yeah." Said Mighty as he leaned against a rather unstable looking bolder.

"Hey Mighty, that rock looks like it could roll over us any second" said Fi.

"What, this? Nah. This rocks not going anywhere, see."

Mighty punched the bolder. He then remembered that he was super-strong.

"Oops"

The rock started to come loose and role towards mighty, who had already started running. The bolder took rocks and dirt along with it until it was a regular landslide. Team mighty was now making excellent time. After all they were running for there lives.

"Mighty, if we live through this, remind me to kill you!"

"As if."

At the bottom of the hill was a small ravine. They all jumped across, barely making it. The ruble rolled down and into the crevice.

"That was close. Hey, where's Ray?" asked Mighty looking around.

"a…little…help…here"

Ray was holding on to the ledge, and all they could see was his fingers.

"Ray, oh my gosh, are you ok?" Said Mighty as he pulled up Ray.

"Don't worry Ray, I'll never let anything hurt you"

"Oh mighty"

"Oh ray"

Suddenly their eyes were all a-glitter and they were surrounded by rainbows and flowers.

"I hate to break up all this shojo, but if you two pansies would look ahead you'd see we have more problems." Said Fi, pointing.

In front of them lay a wide open field. It was grassy but littered with hundreds of pools of boiling lava.

"If we're not careful we'll get overcooked." Said Amy.

"That's putting it 'mildly.' "Joked Mighty" Ha ha, get it, overcooked, mildly, ya know its like.. er.. never mind."

Back in the caves…

After stumbling around for a while the cave they were in started to glow. There were rivers of lava flowing through parts of the cave. The glow it emitted felt warm and inviting, but with just a hint of danger.

"well at least we can see a little now. "

"yup"

tails and bark had gotten a little ahead of the others.

Sonic noticed that he was now alone with Sal and Lien-Da. He realized that now was his chance.

"you know girls," Started Sonic, "you are both beautiful young mature girls…

Sonic put an arm around each girl

"…And I am a handsome young virile man. This cave is nice and warm…and dark.

His hands slid down and squeezed their boobs.

"Furthermore, I think…."

Sonic was cut off mid-sentence as a brown furry fist made contact with his nose, and a large black boot swung up into the last place he wanted to be kicked.

"Wait for us, Tails" Called the girls together.

The girls ran up to Tails and Bark.

"What happened to Sonic?"

"He's, uh…" stammered Lien-Da.

"Indisposed?"

"Very well put, Bark."

Eventually they made it out of the cave and ended up in a wooded area. They walked through the woods for about a mile until they came to a small clearing. In it they saw something they wanted, and someone they didn't.

Mighty and his crew had been running through the lava field avoiding all the pitfalls and had done a very good job of it. At the end of the field they came to a cave entrance, but since it would bring them in the wrong direction they decided to head off into the woods. They walked for a few minutes until Amy spoke up.

"Is that steam rising out of the woods?"

"Lets check it out."

They ran through the undergrowth until they came to an opening, where they found a… hot springs!

Along with it was a very (very) small single story Japanese inn, a ramen cart, and an old man (well, he was actually only 40, but to our cast that's old)

Hey, old man" yelled mighty how much to stay at this inn"

Well, to tell you the truth I'm not open for business yet. You see I've been building this small place for over a year now and I open for the first time next week.

"Oh." Said Mighty dejectedly.

Tell you what. If you help me clean this place up ill let you stay here for free. I'll even give you a ride into town in the morning."

He pointed behind him to a VW microbus that was so rusty you could see in one side and out the other.

"Uh cool. Ok then, lets get to work guys."

An hour later they were relaxing in the springs. There were two pools, one higher than the other. They were separated by a 12 foot wall, and the water from one flowed like a waterfall over the wall into the other. The girls side was on top, and the lower side was the guys. When team Sonic came out of the woods they saw the springs and thought of cleaning off all the ash from those lava pits. Then they saw team Mighty and realized they had lost. Sonic didn't like the fact of having to pay out to Mighty, so he decided not to mention it in case the armadillo forgot.

"Hey, Sonic, you owe me 100 m's."

"Crap."

And so as the sun set they lounged about in the pools, the hot water soothed their muscles from the days arduous journey. Of course, sonic had yet another totally stupid idea that was bound to end in utter failure. But he tried it anyway.

"hey guys, do you realize that on top of this wall are 3 totally hot and soaking wet babes."

"but there are 4 girls"

"Ok, so three totally hot babes and Amy. Anyways if we climb this wall and peak over well get to see something wonderful."

"You realize if you'r caught the girls'll make you regret it"

"Whats the worst they could do to me?"

"well, they could make you…uh…"

"Eat shit." Said bark.

"Since that's only on expression I have nothing to worry about. Listen, you can hear them."

"Oh Sally, I never realized how mature you're body is. It looks marvelous."

"It feels even better, especially down here."

"You're right. Would you like to feel mine?"

"This is too much. I'm going in."

Sonic slowly climbed the stone wall

"Sneaky sneaky sneaky, I'm a sneaky guy. I'm gona see some tail and…"

Sonic reached the top of the wall to find 4 shiny wet goddeses standing right over him… all in bathing suits.

"Hello, Sonic" said Sally seductively as she squatted down in front of him." Were you hoping to see some girl-on-girl action? Hmmm?"

"we'll its just that…"

"you could hear us. We know."

"then you were just…"

Sally tensed her muscles and reached behind her for something..

"…Sound carries very well here."

With that sally shoved a_** very**_ fresh pile of crap onto Sonic's head. He fell off the wall and down into the water below.

"I warned you, Sonic."

Bark just sighed.

After hanging around for a while in the springs the whole crew got udon noodles at the old man's noodle stand. They sang and laughed and talked into the night. Lien-da drank enough sake for three of them and mighty had to drag her carcass to her room. Actually the inn only had 5 rooms. All the girls got one room and the guys got another.

In the morning they turned in their blue hot springs robes and piled into the old VW. The ride out to town was an adventure in itself. They had piled 11 people into a car made for 9, but due to its age it probably couldn't hold more than 3. The back door was missing and their top speed was 31mph. until they started going dow a long hill just outside of Starlight. Then things got interesting.

"Hey old man, arn't we going a bit fast." Asked Ray nervously.

"Well. I may have neglected to fix the leaky breaks."

"Oh that's just great." Said Lien-Da.

"Were all going to die." Yelled Tails.

"Put it in low gear." Suggested Mighty.

"Low gear is broken."

"Use the e-break"

"Broken"

"The wipers!"

"How would that help?" asked Fiona frantically.

"Actually,…"

"They're Broken, We Know!" they all said at once.

They barreled down the road and as they reached 130 km/ph the whole van started rattling. One by one all the doors fell off. Then they lost the hubcaps. And yes, that is the correct order.

"Screw this. Lets jump before the wheels fall off." Said Sonic

"It's a bit Late For That!" Yelled Ray as a tire rolled passed them.

They all jumped out and rolled onto the grassy knoll along the road. Tails flew out. Ray jumped last and unfortunately landed in a muddy swamp. The van piled down the hill and into a telephone pole. The driver flew out the windshield so hard that he was flying off towards the horizon

"I'm ok!"

Then they heard a loud crash.

"I'm still ok."

"They all started walking down the hill. At the bottom was the entrance to Starlight City.

"Hurray, its the city." Said Tails.

"Finally we can find some action." Said Fi.

"Look where we are." Said Sally, pointing to a huge gateway.

Right in front of them was the amusement park.

"Alright, it's the Spring Yard amusement park!" Said Tails.

"Are you high?" Asked Bean.

"Can we go, Sonic, can we?" Begged Tails.

"Only if we can get in without paying"

They went over to the park entrance. Mighty went to check it out. He quickly came back with his scouting report.

"Even with the evening prices we still can't afford to get in. the girls might have a chance, though. The booth on the end is run by a young dorky looking guy who might just let in 4 flirtatious girls."

"What about the 6 of us?" Questioned Sonic.

"The gates are rather vacant right now. If you chikas can distract him we can slip in behind him."

The girls agreed and voted for Fiona to try first. She snuck over to the booth. The guy inside was reading a copy of Playfurry magazine.

"Perfect" She whispered to herself.

"Hello there, Handsome." Said Fiona.

"A, uh, hello. What can I do for you."

"Its More like what can you do _**to**_ me that I'm interested in."

(gulp) "Wha-what do you mean?."

"Your cute and juuust my type. Really. I don't have enough money to get in but if maybe you could look the other way I could pay you off in a different way, hmmm?"

As Fi was seducing the clerk the rest of the gang were sneaking in behind his booth.

"Boy she's good." Whispered Sonic.

"I wish she would talk to me like that." Said Tails to himself.

"Well then," said the clerk "since there's nobody around I think I have 5 minutes, would you like to come in."

He opened the door to his booth and motioned for her to come in.

"Right now! well I, er, Do you have protection?" Fi was frantic now for a way out of this.

"In my wallet."

"Of course you do."

"What was that?"

"I, uh, have to use the bathroom. Could I just pop over. I'll be back in a minute." She crossed her fingers and hoped that would work.

"Hurry back."

Fiona ran through the gates and instead of going to the bathroom turned right and met up with the group around the corner.

"We heard every word, Fi." Commented Sonic.

"Ha! That was good. He almost called your bluff without knowing it." Laughed Mighty.

"There no way I would do him just for a free pass."

"What would you do him for?" Said Sally seductively.

"What would you do _**me**_ for?" Asked Tails.

After Fiona taught Tails a painful lesson they all went into the park. What they didn't know was that the security guard had seen the whole thing on camera. He went out and started to hunt them down so he could throw them out.

Everyone had split up and were now spread across the entire park. It wasn't long before the guard found his first victim. Fiona was on the twirl-a-hurl. When she got out she was a little dizzy. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm afraid you'r going to have to come with me." Said the security guard sternly.

"Like hell, pig!"

Fiona kicked the unfortunate guard in the nuts and took off for the park exit. She knew his jurisdiction ended there.

"Why is it I did all the work to get us in and I've got to leave here first."

What she didn't know was that the guard had split personalities, and kicking him in the 'kiwi's ' brought out his "worse" half. He started to breath heavily and drool.

"Must…eradicate…trespassers!"

Lein-Da was in the gift shop. It was very large and tightly packed with all sorts of junk from mugs to coats to post cards. Which was good for Lien-Da, since she was practicing her pick pocketing. First she grabbed a coat and draped it over her arm. She then bumped into a half dozen people and the post card stand. She the went over to the dressing room where she pulled 6 wallets out from under the coat.

"lets see what I got. 12, 50, 100… 24,000 mobiums. Cool."

She stuck the cash in her shirt and the postcards down her spandex pant leg. She took the wallets and threw them away. Suddenly the door opened and there stood the rabid looking dingo guard.

"Hey! what the…"

"must… punish…miscreants. Must…strip search…miscreants."

"No way I'm gona get raped by a rent-a-dork in a dressing stall."

Lien-Da kicked him in the face and took off running. Suddenly she had a small crowd of irate pickpocket victims chasing her"

"This is by far my worst (yet most profitable) trip to an amusement park ever!"

Sonic and Tails were riding the rollercoaster. They were having fun until they saw the guard on a beam above the track. He was looking more and more like a zombie now, with his skin looking pale almost to the point of being albino.

"I didn't know this was a horror ride."

As they passed under him he dropped down into the last car and started to climb towards sonic and tails car. There screams turned from screams of joy to shrieks of terror.

"Tail' I don't think he's part of the ride!"

"Quick get into the forwardmost car!"

Sonic and Tails crawled forward as the guard closed in on them. Suddenly Sonic got an idea.

"Tails, when I say 'now', jump!"

"Ok."

The guard came closer and closer. suddenly the cars passed under another beam.

"Jump!"

They lunged for the beam. The guard kept going towards a loop-de-loop. The cars went around the loop, but thanks to a great thing called 'gravity' the guard fell out when the cars were upside down.

"Can we go now, Sonic?"

"You don't want to hang around while all the time risking an attack from a zombie cop."

"That's what 'Resident Evil' is for"

"Good Point."

Bean and Bark were in the arcade. Bean was at the UFO catcher, trying to get a Speedy Cerviche doll. He had been trying (and failing) for over an hour.

"Stupid machine, all that time and all I have to show for it is a broken popsicle stick. I wonder if Bark is doing any better."

He walked over to the fighting games, which were the only ones bark liked, only to find a long line in front of the 'Virtua Fighters Megamix' machine. He found bark at the front of the line, along with a pile of cash.

"Is everyone here trying to beat you?"

"…"

"your charging 100m to try

"…"

"If someone beats you, they get the whole pot"

"…"

"Are we rich yet"

"…"

"Your silence is very reassuring"

Suddenly the rabid guard from the bowls of the earth burst through the doors, causing little girls to scream and run in terror.

"Uh bark, time to grab that cash and run!"

Bean grabbed the bag of coins and ran

"Quick, out the back!"

They crashed through the back door and into the ally. rent-a-zero #1 was right behind them. They toppled over some garbage cans as they ran. The cop ran into them and tripped over a box. He flew headlong into a dumpster.

"Quick, shut him in!"

They closed the lid and pushed the dumpster into the street, which was on quite a hill. The guard suddenly burst out.

"Ieeeeee!"

At that point the dumpster started rolling down hill. Bark just waved and bean tried to recover from the heart palpitations. The guard took the smelliest trip in the park's history. As he rolled he picked up speed and became a hurling dumpster of doom. He took out a cotton candy cart (which was bad)

a clown (which was good) and ended up going off a dock and into lake starlight.

Sally was alone with Amy. This was in reality a lot worse than you could imagine. You see, Sally and Amy both want Sonic. Sonic wants Sally but wants to avoid Amy. So putting these two rivals in the same area is bad, unless you like a good catfight. You see, when Amy thinks sonic is cheating on her, she changes. She turns form her normal self into, well, you'll see.

They were walking through the haunted house. Sally was trying to avoid a conversation with Miss Rose.

"This is sooo scary. Isn't this the scariest thing you've ever seen?"

"Only the second most."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"When we find Sonic I'm going to hug him and squeeze him and hug him some more."

"That's great, Amy."

"Don't you like me and Sonic together." 

"Uh, yeah, sure."

Don't _**you**_ _**like**_ me and _**sonic**_ together. (the illogical processing in Amy's twisted brain)

"Sally, oh Saaaaally."

"Please, god, no"

"You can't be with sonic. Sonic only like Rosy the Rascal! Yaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Amy had now transformed into her crazy side, Rosy the Rascal! Her hair was now up and her hammer was different.

"Time for smashy!"

"No. Amy, no!"

Suddenly a fire door swung open. Amy was standing in front of it and it hit her, flinging her across the room. It knocked back what little sense she had.

"Wha…what happened"

The guard came in the door. Except now along with the drooling, vacant stare, and albino skin, he was now covered in garbage and lillypads.

"It's the sludgemonster from the earth's core! And it's real!" They said in unison.

"Take this!" yelled Amy as she lunged towards her assailant.

"No, Amy, its no use!" Yelled Sally.

Amy swung her hammer at the newest addition to the haunted house. She sent it flying across the room.

"Lets get out of here!" Said Sally.

They ran out, leaving the poor guard. Fortunately that conk on the head returned him to a human being. Except that he couldn't figure out why he was covered in garbage.

Mighty and ray were the only ones who weren't found by the security guard and genuinely enjoyed themselves. When they left the park they found everyone in the parking lot thoroughly exhausted.

"Wow, that was fun. We should do this all the time" Said Ray.

They all flipped him the bird, much to his confusion.

The park was on the edge of Starlight City. Most of them had only visited there once or twice. And that was during the day. They couldn't wait to see it now, for the sun was setting and Starlight was a city of the night.

"oh boy, starlight at night! The clubs. The casinos. The shows!"

"The muggers, the rapist, the yakuza."

"Don't worry. All we have to do is avoid dark creepy allies, like that one"

"He pointed to a nearby ally that was pitch black. The only thing tails could see was the tip of a tentacle. Suddenly he saw a pair of eyes blink!

"If you could give me a moment, guys, I'd like to faint now. Somebody please catch me."

Tails fainted, and since everyone thought someone would catch him, nobody did.

"You done now, dude?" Asked Sonic.

"I guess"

"To avoid what happened at the park, I vote we not split up. Now where do you want to go first."

"The casino" Said Fiona.

"A nightclub" Said Lien-Da.

"A show" Wondered Bean out loud.

"Strip clubs" Yelled mighty.

"A discotek" Asked Ray.

"What?" Asked Sonic.

"Quiet! Since we obviously can't decide, we'll split up, but only into 2 groups" this way, in the event of us running into cops or the zombie apocalypse, we have a better chance of escaping. Everyone who wants to go to a casino stand here. Everyone who wants to go to a nightclub, stand there"

"What about a discotek." Asked Ray.

"Only if we can burn it down beforehand"

They all lined up Sonic, Sally, Tails, Fiona, and Bark decided to win some cash. The others left for the clubs.

The Casino…

Despite not wanting to split up, once they got to the casino, they all split up. Sonic went to the roulette table with sally. Tails sat down at a slot machine. Fiona went for the horse races. Bark sat down at a blackjack table.

"Always bet on red." Sonic Said confidently.

"black 28" Said the dealer.

"As I said, always bet on black."

"red 5"

"I, uh, um… always bet on 0"

"00"

"oh for the love of…" Said Sally as she slapped her head.

"Maybe we should try poker?"

Tails was sitting at a 1m slot machine. He only had 100m that he had found in a vending machine.

After 99 pulls he hadn't hit anything.

"Oh please last coin, bring me lots-a-luck and give me some cash."

With his hand shaking, Tails put his last coin into the machine and pulled the handle. The fruits started going round and round. The first one was a cherry. The second… a cherry!

"Oh please oh please oh please oh please…"

Suddenly the last one stopped… on a cherry! Coins started flowing into of the tray and started spilling out onto the floor.

"I'm rich, I'm rich!"

What Tails would only find out later was that he only got 98m's in 1m coins. Which, of course, was less than when he started.

Fiona wasn't really doing too well. It didn't take long before she lost all her money on the ponies.

"Damn that Rarity, why'd she have to trip! Its not fair, it's just not fair. I wonder how our silent polar bear friend is doing?"

She made her way through the casino, and there was Bark sitting all by himself at the corner blackjack table, along with a large pile of chips.

"Wow, how much are you up"

"He's up 100,000m" Said the friendly dealer.

"Bark, I'm impressed."

In the next 20 minutes Bark played nearly 100 hands, and amidst all the splitting and doubling down bark went up to 250,000m's.

Suddenly the dealer dropped a card.

It was innocent enough but Bark was instantly on guard. He stood up, grabbed his chips, and started towards the cashier at a fast pace.

Bean, What's up? You seem spooked. You were doing so well. Another hour and we- I mean you, would be rich.

"She dropped a card."

"So she dropped a card, it happens. You should see when I shuffle a deck. Cards go everywhere…or was there something more to it?"

"She signaled the floor manager."

"But you weren't cheating. I know they hate card counters, but…they could still throw us out, couldn't they?"

"…"

"At least we have enough for a hotel tonight."

Meanwhile Mighty, Ray, Lien-Da, Bean, and Amy had gone to Club Starlight, a classy club in a non classy neighborhood. It was ladies night, so the girls were able to get in free. They convinced the bouncers that mighty, and ray, were their dates, and that they should let them in for free. Bean decided he had a much better way to get in. he rooted around in a dumpster until he found some Styrofoam balls, an old mop head, and a torn curtain. He rapped the curtain around him like a dress, stuck the Styrofoam in it, and used the mop head as a wig. This actually fooled the bouncer, who's IQ matched that of a pile of bricks.

Inside was your standard club. It had a DJ on a stage playing techno (which was so loud that you couldn't hear yourself think). Booths were lined up along each wall, and at the back was a long bar, complete with an all-girl staff.

"Time to party!" Said Lien-Da.

"What? You need to potty?" Yelled Bean over the music.

"You won the lotty? When? And why are you talking like a baby?" Asked Ray.

"Let's dance." Said Mighty.

"pets prance?" Said a very confused Amy.

The group danced the night away, which only lasted for an hour. Of course, they can't spend the night having fun without something happening. In a large booth in the back of the club was a panther in a purple pinstripe suit and a few girls. On of the girls had spilled a bloody mary on his suit and he was slapping her around. Suddenly someone grabbed his arm.

"You should never hit a woman." Said Mighty

"Do you know who I am?"

"Sure. You're an asshole."

"Why you…"

the panther took a swing at mighty, who stepped out of the way and tripped him.

"Um mighty, I think there's something you should know…" Said Ray

"That's it! Kiss your ass goodbye, armadillo. Boys!"

Suddenly a dozen bouncers surrounded the small band.

Uh, what was it you wanted to say, Ray?

Well, this club is called "Club Panther", so I thought…

"Oh crap"

"Lets rumble!" Yelled Lien-Da.

The club erupted into a massive brawl. It spread like a wave across the whole club. Within a moment everyone was fighting everyone else for no apparent reason.

"Damn, this is fun. How ya holding up Amy" Asked Mighty.

"I'm doing fine (oof).Rosy smashie!"

"I'm ok" said ray just before a chair was broken over his head

"I'm… still ok."

"Yo, Lien-Da, ray's down and Rosy's out. Plus I hear sirens. Lets bounce.

"but I'm having too much fun."

Fine, whatever. Ray and I are out of here. Hay, bean, lets go"

Mighty carried ray and led bean out the back as the cops from jet grind radio poured in the front.

"You think the girls I'll make it out of there."

"Not without 10 counts of assaulting an officer."

Suddenly Amy came crashing out of a window.

"Is this Amy or rosy I'm talking to?" Asked Mighty

"The one who wants to run."

"Glad to have you back, Amy, but where are we going."

"Tails beeped me. They got us a hotel room."

"Thank god. At lease tonight I can relax and spread out on a nice large bed…"

"…or not."

The arrived at the motel to find that they all had to share one room.

"Was it too much to ask to get the girls a separate room." Questioned Ray to no one in particular.

"Ray, you and I are going to have to have a talk later." whispered Mighty to Ray

"Well, bark is the only one of us who won any money, so he's paying for all this." Said Sonic

"Speaking of which, where is bark anyways?" Asked Mighty.

"He wanted to go spend his cash on a car." Answered Bean.

"That would make travel easier" Said Ray.

"Bark's so big, I bet he'll get us a SUV, maybe even a hummer!" Said Amy emphatically.

"Putting that aside, how are we going to fit 10 of us in a room with only 2 double beds?" Said Sonic.

"9, we lost Lien-Da somewhere" Said Ray.

"Well, we 3 girls get the bed closest to the bathroom. You 5 can share the bed and couch." Said Sally.

"The couch!" They all yelled.

All the guys lunged for the couch at once in an attempt to get to sleep alone. They all landed on the couch at the same time and were fighting over it when suddenly the door swung open. Standing there was something large and yellow.

"Bark, did you get a car?" Asked Bean

"…"

"Do you want the couch?"

"…"

"no way, I want the couch." Said Sonic

Bark walked over to sonic and leaned his hulking frame over him.

"I paid for the room, I paid for the couch. I get the couch. Agreed?"

"Um, agreed."

The girls hung a sheet between them and the boy's side of the room. With Bark on the couch, Sonic, Tails, Mighty, Ray, and Bean had to share a bed made for two. Which is an impossibility. Tails and Ray found this out quickly as they were on the ends. After rolling off three times each they decided the floor looked very comfortable.

They all woke up by 11:00 the next day.

"I can't wait to see the awesome and luxurious car you bought." Said Mighty to Bark.

"Hey Bark, how'd you find a dealer open at midnight?" Asked Bean

"…"

"That's right, it's the city of the night."

Oh bark its amazing! Said Sally.

There in the parking lot was a giant Maibatsu Thunder 20 seater ultimate deluxe SUV.

"I can't believe you won that much cash!" Said Amy as she stared at the giant red SUV.

"I know you didn't win that much cash." Said Fiona.

Suddenly a fat businessman got into the SUV and pulled out. Behind it was a yellow…fiat 500. it was the only other car in the parking lot.

"Um, is that it?" Asked Ray, pointing to the midget car.

"I thought you would have bought something that, you know, reflects your build." Said Sonic.

"…"

"Ok, ok, its great. But it barely seats 3. We're 9"

"Girls in the front, guys in back. I drive." Stated Bark.

They probably set a world record. After all, 9 Mobians in a F500 is not something done every day.

Bark drove. Fi sat in his lap (which he liked), with Amy and Sally in the passenger seat. In the back was just a tangle of arms and legs.

"Tails, get your tails out of my face" Said a muffled voice.

"Sonic, get your foot out of my face."

"Mighty, get your face out of my foot!"

Eventually they all ended up sitting upright.

"Where to now, sonic." asked Ray

"Well, what's left for zones?"

"Scrap brain industrial zone." Said Fi looking at a road map.

"Do we have enough gas masks for that area?"

One long and uncomfortable car trip later…

"So this is the scrap brain zone." Said Fiona as they got out of the car.

"It looks worse than when Eggman was here."

"That's because I've made some improvements!" Said a mysterious voice from above.

"Doctor Robotnik!" They all said in unison.

"The one and only."

"There's no way you can defeat us Eggman. It's ten of us vs. you!" Said Sonic as he struck a pose.

"Uh, Sonic, we lost Lien-Da, remember?" Said Mighty.

"There's still 9 of us here to fight you!"

"Ray's not a fighter, Sonic, so it's only 8."

"10, 8, 80 who cares. The fact is that we outnumber you!"

"I wouldn't speak so fast, sonic." Bellowed the Eggman. "Egg Robos!"

Suddenly 500 eggrobos poured out of the nearby allies.

"Now what do you think, Sonic!"

"Are those re-skinned E-100's?"

"Uh, er, no. Of course not! These are my new robots, the, uh, E-200's!"

"So they suck twice as much as the E-100's?"

"Eggsactly! No, wait, what? These robots will destroy you. Bow down to me and I might not attack you."

"…so the odds on me destroying the most is 1:20? What's up with that?"

"Sonic's gang were in a huddle and were betting on who would destroy the most robots."

"Nobody ignores the Eggman. E-100's…er, 200's, attack!"

"Here they come, gang."

It was the 8 of them against 500. They were outnumbered 62 to 1! It was a hard and grueling battle with many of their numbers falling. It was over in only 5 minutes just as everyone expected. They were completely annihilated. The enemy was, that is. Sonic didn't break a sweat. Sally gave kick after kick, because her legs were very powerful, and the fact that her nail polish was still drying.

Eggman was now hovering above a pile of red scrap metal.

"When I return I will have a band of robots that will annihilate you all! We will meet again."

"Hey Eggman, here's a gift from me to you!"

With that Bean threw a bomb up and into Robotnik's Egg-O-Matic hovercraft. It went off with a satisfying BOOM and left Eggman a charred oval with a mustache.

"Hey Sonic, lets get out of here." Said Amy.

"Yeah, this zone blows. There's no action." Said Fiona.

"Well then, I guess we could move on to stage 2 of my master plan."

"Oh boy, here it comes." Sighed Tails

"We're going to go to the resort land of Westside Island!"

"Beaches!" Said Sally

"Shopping!" Said Fiona

"Ok sonic tell me just how were suppose to get over there. Its over 100 miles out, and don't you dare say 'we can swim'". Said Amy

"Ok, I won't say 'we can swim'".

"Too late."

"Well I do know a fishing boat that will take us there, but we'll have to gut fish on the way there."

"abso-frikkin-lutly not!" Yelled Sally.

"Actually Sonic," said Tails, "I may have a way for us to fly there"

"Can you support all our weight?" Asked Mighty.

"I'm not hanging onto the wing of the tornado." Said Lien-Da

"No, and, what? Actually, I found an old abandoned passenger plane that I've been fixing up. it seats 40"

"Wow, really? Well then, what are we waiting for. Where is this plane?" Asked Sonic.

"Its at my new workshop on the north coast of green hill"

"Well then, lets get going."

They all piled back into the Fiat. On the way they stopped at a pay phone and beeped Lien-Da.

"Hey Bark, if you drive down the drainage canal we can get there by tomorrow morning. It should be dry since we haven't had much rain. My workshop is at the northernmost point of the green hill zone, on the coast."

They drove down into the canal and followed it out of the city. Then it started raining hard. Very hard. Bark turned on his high beams and wipers.

"Hey, what are the odds of a wall of water rushing down the canal." Asked Ray.

"Why do you ask?" Said Sonic.

"Because I hear a rumbling from behind us that's getting louder!"

Suddenly a wave came up from behind and started to push the car down the canal. It started to tumble and roll."

"Aaauughhh!"

"I'mmm gooing toooo beee siiick."

"No, Sally, Noooo!"

"BLERK!"

the car tumbled and rolled as it was pushed along by the water. Everyone tumbled around like they were in a dryer. Everyone, that is, except for bark, who had fastened his seatbelt. He turned on the radio to a soothing jazz, and plugged in some headphones so that he wouldn't have to listen to everyone's screams.

An hour later the car was washed up onto dry land. Everyone (except for bark) was unconscious.

Bark opened his door to let the water drain out of the car, along with a fish or two. He turned on the fiat (which started immediately thanks to the wonderful designers at Capsule Corp) and drove off into the night, thankful for the peace and quiet.

Next time on South Island Shenanigans, we get flying wings of doom, beaches, casinos, and more robots than you can shake a metal finger at.

Obscure pop culture references time. (lets see how many you got.)

Travelers' Tails - A play on the name of the company that developed 'Sonic R' and 'Sonic 3D Blast'.

The Sludge Monster From the Earth's Core - Name of episode 4 of 'A Pup Named Scooby Doo'

A Pony Named Rarity - Rarity is a forth generation My Little Pony

Maibatsu Thunder SUV - A vehicle from grand theft auto III and Vice City. While unobtainable in the game, you can hear plenty of ads for it on the local radio stations (but I wish you could drive it!).

The Sludge Monster From the Earth's Core - Name of episode 4 of 'A Pup Named Scooby Doo'

Yellow Fiat 500 - Lupin III is well known for driving this car, along with a Mercedes SSK

Capsule Corp - The Sonic The hedgehog franchise steals, er, borrows a lot from Dragon Ball. Bulma, Oolong, and Goku are given a Capsule Corp fiat 500 by Yamucha during the first Dragon Ball hunt.

Noodle Stand in the middle of nowhere - Not so much a pop culture reference but more like what I was thinking of when I wrote the noodle stand into the hot springs part. In the first season of Pokemon there is an episode where the 'twerp trio' gets separated from all their pokemon. This is just after the S.S. Anne sinks. It's the only episode where they have subtitles for the pokemon themselves. Anyways while they're lost that night the pokemon all stop to eat at an udon noodle stand in the middle of the woods, and its run by a slowbro. It's memorable in the fact that Pokemon had strict censorship (and still does) but in this scene Meowth is drunk and unconscious. You can tell because his cheeks have that red glow they use in anime's to indicate intoxication and theres a spilled cup of sake next to him. I always found it hilarious that 4kids had missed such a major thing like that (they are known for censoring to the point of losing most of the episodes themselves.)

Well, that was chapter one. I think having a set of goofy stories is good to go along with my set of serious ones is a good idea. However it's not going as good as I hoped, and while I have a few more chapters planned out, S.I.S. won't be updated on a regular basis like I hoped. Anyway, let me know what you think of it, and whether or not you look forward to chapter 2.

End Of Chapter 1


	3. Island Hopping

_**Chapter 2: Island hoppers**_

Bark drove through the night an headed for the north coast. They finally arrived at Tails workshop. The sun was just starting to set (it was a long drive through the wilderness). Except that tails workshop wasn't a workshop, it was an abandoned airfield! It had a paved 1000 foot runway, a small terminal, a tower, and a hanger. It looked old and seemed to have been abandoned for a long time. There were several decrepit aircraft parked all in a row.

"Tails, this place is amazing." Said Amy in awe. "Is this all yours?"

"Yes. This was the only airport on the island for a long time. Then they built starlight international and put this place out of business. I plan to rebuild most of the planes here including a helicopter and these babies."

Tails pushed a garage door remote and the giant hangar doors started to open. suddenly the theme from 'Space Odyssey 2000' started to play over the loudspeaker.

"Wait for it…" he said.

They waited…

and waited…

and waited.

10 minutes later the hangar doors finally opened all the way to reveal not one but 2 original Douglas DC-3s

"Tails, just how old is that plane?" Asked Amy.

"I have absolutely no idea, but it looks cool, doesn't it."

"Yeah sure the vintage look is sooo in, but will it fly?" Asked Fiona sarcastically.

"Of course, I fixed it myself."

"Its got a flat tire" Said Mighty.

"This is going to be one interesting flight." Said Bean, mostly to himself.

"A plane like this only has a first class section, right?" Asked Fiona.

"Yup."

"Yes! We're flying first class"

"Well, not quit _**first**_ class…"

they stepped onto the plane to reveal a plush interior with red and gold padded walls. The interior was all fixed up, except there was a noticeable lack of chairs.

"Uh, tails…"

"The plane was used at one point to transport livestock, so no chairs."

"Great. Well, lets get this show on the road." Said Amy.

Tails quickly patched the tire and they all got on board tails fired up the dc-3s twin 14 cylinder engines. He threw on an old bomber jacket. They backfired a half dozen times but finally started. Tails taxied the plane out to the end of the runway and turned around

"India gulf niner niner requesting clearance for takeoff"

"Tails," said Sonic "there's no one in the tower"

"Are you sure…"

Tails grabbed his remote and pressed another button.

"This is island tower to India gulf niner niner. You are clear for takeoff" Said a female voice over the radio.

"Dude, Is that a recording of you doing a girls voice?"

"Uh, er… do I hear sirens"

Sonic opened the door to find 3 cruisers chasing someone down the driveway. It was Lien-Da. She was driving a Capsule Corp #7 motorcycle that was loaded to the brim with new clothes."

"Hey Tails, Lien-Das' been shoplifting again. Hurry and take off."

Tails revved up the engines and the plane started to roll down the runway.

"Hey, Lien-Da! Lose the goods and hurry up." Shouted Sonic.

Lien-Da pulled up alongside the plane and tried to reach the door, but couldn't.

"Either drop the coats or go to jail!"

With that sound logic Lien-Da dropped the coats and made a lunge for the door, Sonic grabbed her and pulled her in as the plane gained speed and pulled up.

"I see you got our message"

"I lost all my new clothes. You better have some booze on this plane, and I don't mean those tiny airline bottles, either."

Sonic just sighed

They left the ground and soon reached a cruising altitude of 1500 meters. The day was beautiful and the view of the ocean was gorgeous. The trip took about three hours. In the rear of the plane tails had a Betamax player hooked to a projector so they could have an in flight movie. Unfortunately the only movies Tails had on board were "My Little Pony" and "The Best Of Excel Saga". At one point Tails came out of the cockpit.

"Tails," asked Sonic, "who's flying the plane?"

"It's on Autopilot."

"I didn't know DC-3's have autopilot."

"Mine does."

Actually his autopilot was a rope tied around the wheel and a rock on the pedal. Fortunately Tails only had to use the bathroom and was back in the driver's seat within a minute.

20 minutes later they were approaching the coast of the Emerald Hill Zone.

"This trip is boring. I wish something would happen." Said Bean.

"No, don't say that! You'll…" Sonic started to say.

WRRRRRRRRR—RR-R-R SPUTTERSPUTTER-SSSSSSSSSS

"…jynx us."

They looked out the wind to find that engine #1 was spewing smoke and the prop had stopped rotating.

"Uh Tails? We seem to have a problem here" Said Sonic.

"You thing I don't know! My dashboard is lit up like a Christmas tree."

"Should we panic?"

"Not unless we lose engine 2"

Suddenly the plane lurched to the right.

"Now you can panic."

Everyone was still staring out the window at the billowing smoke. The DC'3's Pratt & Whitney engines were very old. Tails had not done as thorough a job rebuilding them as he though. Engine one threw a rod, while engine 2 blew its oil pan gasket. Both were leaving a streak of black smoke throughout the sky. They were also losing altitude.

"Panic! Paaanic!" Yelled Ray.

"I can't die I'm still a virgin!" Said Lien-Da

"I could change that."

"Not the time, Sonic" Said Sally somewhat perturbed.

"Relax," Said Mighty," were over water. If we really have to we can jump, right Tails. Tails?"

Mighty turned around just in time to see a pair of orange tails disappear out the door.

"TAILS! Crap! Time to bail out gang" Said Mighty.

"Parachute! Parachute! I need a Parachute!" Yelled Ray frantically.

The parachute rack only had a note on it that said 'Dear Tails; Buy some parachutes. –Tails'.

"I guess were doing this freestyle. Bonzai!" Yelled Sonic.

The plane was at 300 meters as they all bailed out.

"Don't you dare look up my skirt."

"Hey, Amy's not wearing panties!"

"Sonic!"

They all splash down in the crystal blue waters of the Emerald Hill atoll. They finally dragged themselves to shore, where they found Tails sipping a tropical drink on a lawn chair, devoid of his pilots outfit.

"Why didn't you tell us we had to bail out!" Yelled Sonic.

"Well I figured if you noticed me gone and the door open that you'd figure out what to do"

"Well give us a friggin heads up next time, will ya!" Yelled a drenched Fiona.

"Fine, fine, don't get your knickers in a twist."

"Where are we, anyways?"

"We're back at my old stomping grounds," announced Tails, "the Emerald Hill Zone."

"That's right, I forget that your not a native of South Island" Said Sally.

"Yup. I use to hang around here. Then I escaped from the orphanage and hitch-hiked with Sonic"

"Well then, that means you get to be our official tour guide." Said Sally.

"What! But I…"

"Everyone for Tails as our tour guide say aye.

"AYE!"

"Its unanimous. Your in. Where do we go first."

"Well, I had a little clubhouse nearby. We could start their first."

They all started traipsing through the zone and soon made it to a half collapsed shack.

"We're here." Said Tales.

"Tails, we cant stay here. It doesn't even have a door." Said Lien-Da.

They all went into the 150 square-foot shed. the only thing inside was a beat-up locker.

"I wonder if I left anything in here" said tales as he struggled with the locker's latch.

Inside was an empty soda can, a moldy comic book, and a scrap of paper. Sally picked up the paper. It was a map.

"This looks like a treasure map! Tales, do you know what this leads to?"

"Well, I can't remember, but I know it was a valuable treasure."

"Treasure hunt time!" Yelled Amy giddily.

"I'll take it from here, Sonic" Said Fiona as she snatched the map away from Sally.

"Here we go again." Said Sonic.

"If I'm reading this right," Said Fiona as she clenched the map, her eyes growing as big as dinner plates, "this map will lead us to a clue that will lead us to another clue and so on until we get to the treasure!"

"Well, what's the first clue?" asked Amy.

"It shows a place on the map that looks right downtown, but its only a general place. There's a rhyme that goes along with it that pinpoints the exact place of the second clue."

"Read the rhyme already." Said an impatient Tails.

Fiona read the rhyme. It went like this:

Find a place that's really funny

Then go up high

Go to where it's not sunny

And the 2nd rhyme will be nigh.

"Cute, but what does it mean?" Asked Lien-Da.

"Will know when we get there." Said Fiona

"Actually," said bean, who had been quiet until now, "Bark and I are going to push on to the Casino Night Zone. We'll meet you at the Sands Motor Inn."

With that Bean and Bark left, and then there were 8.

They all took of for the place on the map, which was located in the middle of the main village in emerald hill. They went to the road intersection listed on the map.

"Does anyone see anything that's funny?" Asked Sonic.

"Apart from Ray's hair, no." said Fiona.

"Look," said Tails, "A comedy club. That's funny!"

"I guess 'up high' refers to the roof. Lets use the fire escape." Suggested Mighty.

They climbed up to the roof. There wasn't much up there except the back of the clubs sign and the door leading to the stairwell.

"Where could it possibly not be sunny? I mean, we're on the roof. It's always sunny up here."

"Wait a minute." Said tails. He paused to think for a moment before exclaiming. "I've got it!"

"What! What!" Yelled Lien-Da

"The stairwell building cast a shadow, and the north side would never get sun!"

"Brilliant, fox boy, there's hope for you yet." Said Fi.

They all walked over to the north side of the stairwell enclosure. There was nothing there except for an 'X' drawn on a brick. The brick was loose.

Tails pried the brick out to reveal another scroll. He opened it and read it aloud:

One clue found, two to be dealt

Follow the map and you'll see

The one place Timmy never fell

Is where the next clue shall be.

"As cryptic as the last, and the map says to go to an abandoned farm." Said Fiona.

It was nearly lunch when they made it to the farm there wasn't much left as most of the buildings had collapsed.

"Where should we start?" Asked Sonic.

"Lets see. There's a barn(collapsed), a farmhouse(collapsed), a garage, and a chicken coop"

"What's that little building over there?" Asked Ray

"Looks like a well house. A lot of old farms have them"

"Well! of course, that's it" Exclaimed Ray.

"What's 'it'? Did you figure it out?" Asked Fi.

"The one place Timmy never fell – the well!"

"Of course!" Said Tails. "There's that old gag about that show where they would say 'Timmy fell down the well!' except he never did."

"To the well house!" Said Mighty

they all trotted over and opened the door to the little shed. On the floor in the corner was a steel box.

Sonic grabbed it and brought it outside. They opened it to find another scroll. Ray got to read it this time. It went like this:

Two down

One to go

But be careful

You wouldn't want to blow!

"The map has us headed for a quarry in the Hilltop zone." Said Ray.

They all headed off towards the Hill Top Zone. It took a while and they had to camp out for the night. None of them could sleep since they were all too excited. The next day came and they finally arrived at the quarry. It was an old one and was abandoned since it was destroying a mountain and was shut down by the Hill Top Government.

"OK everyone, spread out. We've got a lot of ground to cover." Said Sonic

They spent the next two hours covering every inch of the quarry. There were a dozen buildings to search and tons of rust equipment. Eventually Mighty discovered the meaning behind the clue, and he rounded everyone up. he led them to a small shed far away from the main buildings. It was about the size of a two-car garage.

"You know, mighty, you look sort of glum. I figured you'd be happy finding the last clue." Said Sonic, Noticing the sad look on Mighty's face.

"Oh, I'm happy I found the clue, but not where I found it."

"It's in this shed, right?" Said Fi standing by its door.

"Yes, but think of it. The last line of the clue said 'you wouldn't want to blow'. The word 'blow' is the key"

"Wait, this isn't…" Said Tails.

"Oh, but it is." Said mighty as he swung open the door to reveal rows and rows of shelves filled with dynamite!

"So?" Said Sally. "All this TNT is really old. Besides, its all wet."

"Sally, that's not water," said Tails, "it's the nitroglycerin leaking out. This stuff is highly unstable, and this shed looks like it could fall any second."

"But the treasure?" Said Amy.

"I'll get it." Said Sonic. "I'll sneak around and find the clue, and if anything happens I can outrun the explosion."

"Good luck, Sonic." Said Amy as she hugged him.

"I'll make sure to say something nice at your funeral." Said Mighty.

"Ha, ha. Well, here I go."

With that everyone took off running to get a good distance from the impending explosion.

Sonic started to slowly sneak around the shed, going down each row, scanning the shelves for a clue.

"This isn't so bad." He thought to himself. What he saw next mad him wish he hadn't said that.

There on a shelf was another steel box, except that a stick of dynamite had fallen on it. Sonic slowly opened the box and hopped the Stick of TNT wouldn't roll off. he felt around for the scroll and found it. As he grabbed it he suddenly he heard a snap and felt a sharp pain across his fingers. Along with the clue was a mousetrap. He yelled and yanked his hand out which caused the lid to fly open and send the stick of dynamite to flip through the air. Sonic spun around and ran at full speed out of the shed. When the Dynamite hit the ground it blew (it would be a boring fanfic if there were no explosions, wouldn't it) and caused all the dynamite in the building to blow with it. The fireball was massive, but fortunately Sonic was well out of its blast radius. He ran over to where the rest of the gang was waiting for him.

"Nice going, twinkle toes. At least tell me you got the clue." Said Fiona.

"Oh Sonic, are you ok? You almost got blown to pieces and there's a mouse trap on your fingers" Said Sonic sarcastically.

"Yeah yeah, just read the clue."

Tails took the scroll and read it aloud. It said;

Neon and bright am I

Deep down below I lie

Enter here an beware

Your money will become quite rare.

"The clue is abstract but the map isn't." Said Amy. "It leads us right to the famous 'Welcome to the Casino Night Zone' sign. That's what's neon and bright."

"It's buried below it." Said Mighty

"But what about the rare money bit" Questioned Ray.

"You loose your money at casinos, hence your cash becomes rare." Explained Fiona.

"Well then, lets go." Said Tails.

It was evening by the time they made it to the sign. It was 8 meters tall and lit up in yellow and white lights. It was of the side of the road. Being on the edge of the zone it was an uninhabited area, and they were all alone.

The box itself was only an inch below the earths surface and only took them a moment to find. As they opened it there almost seemed to be a glow shining from inside the box. It quickly went away when they saw what was inside.

"A baseball?" Said Amy.

"An autographed baseball." Said Ray.

"It looks like an entire team signed it." Noted Mighty.

"Which team" Asked Lien-Da.

"The Westside rollers, 3220." Read Sonic.

"How valuable does that make it." Asked Sally.

"Worthless" Said Tails.

"What?" Yelled Fiona.

"The Westside rollers," Said Tails, "Were part of the island league. The team lost every game between 3215 and 3222, at which point all the players were fired and they renamed the team 'The Westside Canines' since most baseball players are of the dog family"

"Crap." Said Fiona.

"Double crap." Said Sally.

"Crap to infinity…" Said Mighty.

"…and beyond." Added Ray.

"On the bright side I were at the Casino Night Zone. Lets catch up with Bark. I think he's at the 'Longview Motel' on the boulevard. "

"Cool. Lets go."

It didn't take them long to find Bark. They snuck everyone into his room and one by one they fell asleep. Except that Bark had a plan for the next day, and he and Sonic talked into the night.

END

Pop culture references (think you'll do better than last time?)

DC-3 Registration IG99 (India gulf niner niner) - in 'The Incredibles' this was the registration of the jet Elastigirl uses to get to the tropical island. She calls it out frantically several times over the radio.

CC#7 Motorcycle. - Bulma drove this in chapter 2 of Dragon Ball.

The Best of Excel Saga on Betamax - In episode 20, 'The Best Of Mr. Pedro', Excel and Hyatt are watching clips of scenes with Pedro. All the clips are on Betamax cassettes (just so you can tell them apart, you can only see one of the reels in a betamax cassette, whereas you can see both on a VHS).

The Westside Rollers - One of the 3 main gangs in Grand Theft Auto San Andreas.

To Infinity and Beyond - Buzz Lightyear's catchphrase in 'Toy Story'.


	4. Sonic's 11

_**Chapter 3: Sonic's 11**_

"Welcome to Casino Night Zone." Said Tails as they gazed out of their motel room upon the neon-lit boulevard. "This area separates the chemical plants from the city. There are over 100 gambling halls and 20 massive resort casinos, with plenty of hotel rooms and underground parking. Its like a maze, built to keep people (and their money) in."

"So we're doing casinos again." Said Lien-Da as they drove into a motel parking lot." Didn't we do this in chapter 1?"

"Yeah, but this time we've got a plan." Explained Sonic. "Last time when we went to the Starlight Casino we were just there to have a fun and maybe earn some traveling cash. Of us only Bark really came through on the latter, and got chased out because of it."

"So what do you propose we do?" asked Fiona.

"This time we take them for everything they've got!"

"As awesome as that sounds," said Sally," how do you expect us to do that?"

"Remember 'Casino Royal'?"

"Every version."

"And 'Ocean's 13'?"

"Of course… oh boy. You're not seriously thinking of…"

"I am."

"No offense Sonic" said Sally, "but the last time we went to a casino you couldn't even win a single mobium. How do you expect us to break the bank."

"Oh, I've got a plan. Actually I can't take all the credit. Most of it was barks idea. He laid it all out for me last night and, uh, why is your nose bleeding, Fiona?"

"What! It is? A, uh, I mean, it's the altitude."

"But we're only a hundred meters up?"

"Shut up, fox boy."

They walked into their hotel room, which (of course) didn't have enough beds.

"Anyways where was I? Oh yeah. So we've got a big plan. It involves expensive cars, pastel suits, loaded dice, and a VCR."

"WHAT?" Said Amy.

"Yes, you heard me right. Anyways, this is a team effort. It only works if you're all in"

"well…" said ray

"I mean, if your plan works, but…" said Mighty.

"Why not!" said Fiona emphatically as she jumped off the bed she was on. "I mean why the hell not! You only live once and you might as well go all the way, right? I say we do it!"

"She's right. I'm in." Said Sally

"Me too." Said Tails.

"All in favor" said Sonic raising his hand.

"AYE"

"Hey Sonic, what gambling hall did you pick for this job" Asked Fiona.

"Well," Said Sonic" Bark wanted to hit the 'Pair-o-dice' gambling hall, but I decided on one that was much better. Bean and Bark already cased the casino."

"So that's where you two have been."

"Which gambling hall are we hitting, Sonic." Said Amy as she pulled out a Westside casino guide.

"Well, we're not hitting a gambling _**hall**_…"

"What the fuck?" Said Lien-Da. "Do you mean to say we're hitting one of the _**resort **_casinos!"

"Sonic, 4 of the worlds biggest resort casinos are here!" said Amy reading her guide book.

"Not only are we hitting one of them, but were hitting one of the big 4 themselves, the 'Grand Mobium Resort and Casino."

"Sonic are you nuts?" Yelled Fiona. "These casino's have more security than the island has cops, and the 'Grand Mobium' is the worse"

"Not only that, but they've got all the latest equipment and their own S.W.A.T. teams." Said Tails.

"Basically, it's a private army." Said Mighty.

"And you think we didn't think of all that, come on."

"Just tell me we have an escape plan." Asked Sally

"Yeah, Sonic, This plan is worthless without an escape plan" Said Mighty

"Of course we have an escape plan. We even have an emergency escape plan just in case."

"That's better, although I don't think we're all convinced." Said Fiona.

"Will 10,000,000,000 mobiums convince you*" (*$100,000,000)

"T-t-ten _**billion**_!" Stammered Lien-Da..

"Yeah, that works." Said Fiona

"Well then, lets here the plan already" Said Amy enthusiastically.

"Ok. Everyone has a role to play, and every role is important. For the most part we'll be separated while on the casino floor. To keep in contact we'll all have ear pieces. Tails, your in charge of communications, coordination, and all technical aspects. You'll be manning the computers in our hotel room at the Grand Mobium"

"We're setting up right under their noses?"

"That's right."

"Cocky and ballsy. I like it." Said Sally.

"Girls, we're renting you very expensive dresses. Feel free to attract attention to yourselves at the tables. Bet high all the time. Your going to pretend to be super-rich high rollers. You're all on craps. I'm on roulette. Bean and bark will be working on distractions for the guards. Mighty, we'll need your super strength for a little 'breaking & entering'. Ray, you'll be assisting Tails."

"Sonic, I don't mean to be rude, but how can we win that much money." Asked Tails. "The casino will never let us win it all."

"We don't have to win it all, we just have to make sure that the casino _**looses**_ it all."

"But still, can the ten of us pull it off." Asked Amy.

"No. That's why I called in someone who can help with that. She'll be here any minute"

"Hey Sonic, I don't mean to sound like a killjoy, but why are we robbing a casino. We're all the good guy hero types. Well, most of us. Fiona and Lien-Da are the only anti-heroes here."

"This casino has a lot of illegal activity associated with it. Enough so where it will be better if we break them."

"So its a combination of a heist flick and a cop movie?" Said Mighty.

"Less 'cop flick' and more 'cold war espionage' show." Said Sonic.

"Wha…"

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"And there's our 11th." Said Sonic as he moved for the door.

Sonic opened the door to find a purple and yellow mongoose standing outside.

"Mina!" Said Amy happily.

"Hey everyone, its Mina the mongoose" Said Sally.

"I don't mean to sound… mean," said Fiona, "but how is a lounge singer going to help us on the larges heist of the century?"

"This 'lounge sing' is going to be headlining at the Grand Mobium and has access to parts of the casino that you don't." Said Mina emphatically.

"But why do you want to destroy the casino you work for." Asked Ray.

"Work isn't the right word. Slave is."

"What do you mean?"

"The 'management' at the GM is crooked beyond all believe. They have a fake contract that says I work for them for the next ten years, and if I back out I'll be blacklisted. Not only that but they're blackmailing me for good measure."

"Blackmail? But you're the cleanest of us all." Said Lien-Da.

"Well, I hide the fact that my manager, Ash, is also my boyfriend, which you all already know. They have embarrassing pictures of us together that they threaten to send to the tabloids. I'd rather avoid that."

"So we have to retrieve the evidence?" Asked Fiona.

"Retrieve and destroy!" Said Mina as she clenched her fist.

"I think I can handle that job." Said Fiona.

"Then it's yours." Said Sonic.

"Its almost impossible to get to the manager's office without being seen. You'll have to crawl through air vents."

"Wouldn't be the first time."

"Here are the blueprints for the casino." She said as she threw down a several large photos on the bed.." I had to hide a camera on me when I went to the building department. I got these at great personal risk."

"You'll get an equal share, don't worry" Reassured Sonic.

"Perfect. In that case here are several 'high access' keycards. I made copies of mine."

"Nice." Said Tails. "Will they grant us complete access?"

"Everything except the most secure areas."

"Oh, There's one other thing." Mina went on. "There's something 'weird' about that casino. I don't know what it is but it feels dangerous… yet familiar. Watch yourselves."

"Interesting." Said sonic to himself. Out loud he said "Where will you be when this all goes down?"

"I'll be on stage. It's my alibi. But if I spot an 'opportunity' I'll take it."

"What kind of opportunity?" Asked Tails.

"I Don't know, but I will when I see it. Now then, shall we head on over to the GM. I have the high roller suite. It's a perfect base."

"Hell yeah." Said Fiona.

Half an hour later everyone was at Mina's suite.

"Tails," said Sonic, "this room has a computer with access to the rest of the hotel. Normally its used to order room service and watch pay-per-view TV. Today, however, you'll used to hack into the security system and all other systems in the hotel. Can you do it?"

"Well, if I hook it up to my ILL laptop I can definitely do it."

"Good. Hook up and start recording all the security cameras. We need at least an hour of footage to loop."

Tails, to himself, said "So that's where the 'VCR' comes into play."

"Sonic," asked Lien-Da, "Won't they notice the loop if they see everything that happened earlier happen again."

"We'll run the loop right after the security guards change shifts. They'll never notice."

Ding Dong

Sonic answered the door. It was a rather large delivery.

"Here's your outfit rentals" Said a dingo delivery boy. "Please sign here."

Sonic signed and accepted the package.

"I got all our outfits. Bean and I get suits. Amy, Sally, and Lien-Da get dresses. Mina already has all her clothes here. Fi, since you've got to crawl through air vents, you get to wear your normal thief outfit." Tails and Ray will stay here. Mighty will work outside with Bark. Got it?"

"Um, Sonic? What's our emergency escape plan?" asked Amy.

"Well, after we leave the penthouse, Tails will barricade the door behind us. In case of an emergency Tails will fly out the window and up to the VIP helipad. There's a Maverick Helicopter up there. He'll jack it and pick us all up. Then we escape."

"That should work." Agreed Amy.

"Tails," said Sonic as he handed him a CD, "At exactly 10:03 access the slot machine database and run the program on this MO disk."

Fiona had left the room a few minutes ago, and now appeared in a skintight 1- piece pale purple bodysuit with a green scarf tied around her waist.

"I'm headed into the vents. It'll take me a few hours to get through to the manager's office."

"Here, take this." Said Sonic as he handed her an earpiece." Everyone gets one."

He gave everyone a small radio unit and an almost invisible earpiece.

"Fiona," said Mina," Once you find the contract and negatives, destroy them. Then get out fast."

"Right. Where's our meeting place?"

"Tail's old hideout in Emerald Hill." Said Sonic.

"Ok."

Fiona climbed into the floor vent and they closed it up behind her.

"One more thing, Fiona," said Sonic" Wait until 10:04 to enter the office. That way if you trip the alarm the guards won't notice."

At this point the girls were ready. They were all wearing floor-length dresses with low cuts, spaghetti straps, and sequins. Sally's was blue, Amy's was red, and Lien-Da's was black. Mina came out wearing a silk yukata that was red with black trim. Her hair was up in back and held in place by chop sticks.

"Synchronize your watches for 10:00 everyone." Said Sonic." That's when the action starts. Tails, that's when you'll activate the MO disk. Activate the security feed loop 5 minutes earlier. Girls, feel free to win as much money as you can. Here's 100,000 mobiums. Its counterfeit, but they won't notice until it's too late. Don't ask where I got it. Good luck. Oh, and if you feel the floor shake or see smoke, don't panic."

The 4 girls left. Now it was just the guys. Bark motioned to mighty and he and Ray left. Sonic and Bean changed into their suits. Bean's was a black tux with a red bowtie. Sonic's was a light blue pastel suit. They left and walked down to the elevator and took it to the casino on the ground floor. Sonic looked up at a security camera and smiled.

They mingled in the crowd for about 20 minutes. The girls were betting high and winning. Sonic had sat down at a roulette table and was constantly betting on red or black, and was winning 80% of the time.

Fiona was crawling through the air vents. She had gone up 4 stories and across to the other side of the building. She finally made it to a floor vent conveniently located behind the managers' desk.

Mina had been preparing for her concert and was consulting with her band. At 5 minutes to ten they all stepped out on stage.

Bean's job was the easiest. All he had to do was get a package as close to the cashiers as possible. Fortunately baggage check was located right next to the cashiers, which is where he decided was the best place for it.

Bark and Mighty made their way to the underground parking garage. They drove a 'borrowed' security van over to a cement wall. On the other side of the wall was the vault. Bark opened his backpack to reveal several blocks of C4.

"If we're blowing the vault, then how come everyone is upstairs gambling anyways?" Asked Mighty.

"All will be revealed shortly" Answered Bark.

They planted the explosives and took cover

Suddenly Tails could be heard over their earpieces.

"This is Tails. Do you all copy? Over."

"This is Fiona. I'm in the offices. Over"

"This is Mighty. Bark and I are in the parking garage on the other side of the vault. We're all set here."

"This is Sally. The girls and I are at three different craps tables. We're waiting on you."

"This is Bean. I'm over by the cashiers' box. The item is in place."

"This is Sonic. I'm all ready"

"Its 2 minutes to 10:00. places everybody." Said Tails.

Suddenly the curtains on the large stage opened and Mina mongoose stepped out.

"Welcome everyone to the Grand Mobium resort casino, where the odds of you winning are better than anywhere else. Now sit back and enjoy tonight's jazzy tunes. And a one and a two and a 1 2 3 4!"

The saxophones started playing as Mina grabbed her mike.

"I think its time we blow this scene

Get everyone and their stuff together

Ok 3, 2, 1, lets jam."

(Insert 'Tank' theme from 'Cowboy bebop' here)

At that the clock struck 10:00. The security guards in the monitor station switched shifts, and as they did Tails played the tapes and put them on loop.

15 seconds later the girls switched out the craps dice for loaded ones and started betting as much as they could. Sonic managed to switch out the roulette ball with a rigged one, and slapped down 100,000 mobiums on 07. he, of course, won.

The dealers and floorwalkers were instantly suspicious of all this sudden winning. Tails cut off all telephone communications in the building so that the pit bosses couldn't contact security. Exactly 3 minutes later tails implemented the MO disk. Suddenly all the slot machines were paying out, and I mean all of them, even unmanned ones. Their sirens were yelping and all their lights were flashing. The crowds were going crazy as thousands of coins flowed out onto the floor. Sonic and the girls took this opportunity to cash in their chips, which totaled at over 20 million mobiums. Then 1 minute later Bean pressed a button on a remote that detonated the package he had checked, which was a smoke bomb. It filled the cashiers office with smoke, causing even more confusion. Seconds later Bark and Mighty set off the explosives and blew their way into the vault. Ray backed up their van and they shoveled all the money into it. They closed up the van and drove off.

"This is Mighty. We're out of here."

"Cool'" said Sonic, "Bark knows what to do with it."

It was now safe for Fiona to search the office. It didn't take her long to find the evidence since there was only one filing cabinet with a combination lock. The evidence was in it and filed under 'M'. She threw it in a trash can and set it all on fire

"This is Fi. I just destroyed the evidence. Your free, Mina. I'm going to take the elevator down. It should be clear now."

Mina put down her sax, turned to her band and said, "We're free, boys. Lets get while the getting good."

They grabbed their instruments, ran to the parking lot, and proved that a 20-ton bus _**can**_ do burnouts.

"Time to bug out, Tails." Said Sonic over his radio.

He walked over to the exit where he found the girls waiting for him

"Hey there, stranger," She said with a sexy grin, "ready to bounce?"

"I've got one last thing to do. Here, take my cash. I wouldn't want to drop it."

"Will you be long?"

"Not likely."

Sonic walked through the rioting gamblers over to a roped-off elevator. He went under the ropes and into the elevator. It was an express elevator, and only went to the penthouse. As he traveled up he pulled out a gun, slicked back his hair, and put on a fresh pair of gloves. The whole gang had already left the casino, but there was one part of the plan he hadn't told them. The real reason he chose this particular Casino.

The elevator doors opened into a large room. The focal point was a white crescent-shaped desk, with a wall of monitors behind it along with a rather oval looking white chair. As he stepped out 2 ding guards pointed Automatics. at him. He emptied the gun into both of them. They both dropped and started to leak oil.

"Having trouble with your security feed, _**Doctor**_?"

The chair turned to reveal none other than Dr. Eggman himself.

"Hedgehog. I wondered If you were the one behind this. What's with the gun? Its not your style."

"I thought the Walther PPK made me seem more suave. Besides I only brought one clip."

Sonic threw away the empty Walther.

"Sonic, How did you know that my guards…"

"…were androids? Their good, but no mecha can fool me. All the guards in this Casino are androids. And the Casino itself is a front. All so you can make money to spend on world conquest, isn't it?"

"H-how did you know?"

"I knew you still had a casino from when you took over the whole island. You were shrewd keeping it looking like a legit casino. It took me months of investigating to find the right casino. Fortunately I love playing detective."

"What's going on in the casino? What did you do to my computers?"

"The casino? Everyone down there is rioting. Seems someone used a computer program that caused all the slot machines to dump their payload. Said program also sent a heinous bug to your computers just for extra measure.

"Oh and there's one more thing I know about this casino." Sonic went on. "According to gambling laws, a casino must have enough cash in its vault to cover every chip on the floor. For this casino that would equal 10 billion mobiums. Except you spent it all on robots. The cash in the vault was all fake to fool the gambling commission. You probably only kept about 10 million on hand."

"Why are you talking in the past tense? You couldn't have…"

"Oh but we did. We cheated and won 10 million on the floor. We also blew open your vault and stole all your fake cash. Right now Bark and Mighty are burning it. Your casino is done for."

"Well, Sonic, it looks like you've won this round…" Said Eggman. He pressed a button and his hovercraft suddenly popped out of the floor.

"Running, doc?"

"The money I got from this casino helped me to finish the most deadly robots you'll ever see. You should come on over to my secret underground base in Metropolis. That is, if you can find it! Bwa ha ha!"

And with that Eggman flew out, blowing a huge hole in the wall.

"Well that was anticlimactic."

Suddenly an ear-piercing alarm sounded. All the monitors on the wall suddenly glowed red with the number '30' on it. As it started counting down a computerized voice sounded over the PA.

"Self destruct in 29, 28,27…"

"Now _**that's**_ a climax."

Sonic jumped out the hole in the wall and jumped off the many rooftops as he made his way to the ground.

All the people made it out in time before the casino imploded. Fortunately Eggman has a flair for the thematic, so as the casino collapsed fireworks flew out the top and lit up the night sky.

Sonic stood on a rooftop across the street, watching the show

"Metropolis city, eh. That's one battle I'm looking forward to. I can't wait to find out if 10 billion builds a robot worthy of fighting me."

END

Time for more totally obscure pop culture references

ILL Laptop - When ACROSS started their city conquest in Excel Saga they started by opening an electronics store selling superior equipment at bargain prices. You really have to read it to understand it.

Maverick Helicopter - Most common chopper in the Grand Theft Auto games

A thief's outfit of a pale purple Bodysuit and Green Scarf - This was Fujiko's standard thief outfit in the 3rd Lupin III TV series, the pink jacket series.(now THAT'S an obscure pop culture reference if I've ever seen one)

MO Discs - In Resident Evil 1 you needed three of these to rescue one of the S.T.A.R.S. members.

Walther PPK - James bond's gun. It does make sonic seem more suave and works well with the suit.

Author's Notes

Anyways this is the third chapter of South island shenanigans. I didn't have that many gags and toilet humor this time around, but when I realized that they had to go through the Casino Night Zone, my mind suddenly flashed on every heist movie I've ever seen, and I realized that this would be so cool to do with Sonic characters. Chapter 4 will end this story arc, but my zany stories will continue with different cast members in different settings. I originally meant for this series to be made up of one-off stories, but now it looks like every arch will span several chapters. Kind of like 'Sonic Universe' but more entertaining.


	5. Hyper Metal Mass Attack

_**Hyper Metal Mass Attack**_

Sonic and crew had gotten away from the wreckage of the casino without anyone knowing who had caused its destruction. Mina and her band had escaped in their rental car and had made tracks for their private jet, and took off for parts unknown. Sonic Met back up with everyone at Tails little shack in the Emerald Hill Zone. Fiona was especially upset when she found out that all the money in the vault was fake, and attempted to strangle sonic. Fortunately Amy and Sally pried her off in time and he proceeded to explain how it was actually Eggman's casino. Everyone was a bit more understanding after that. It seems that Sonic knew of the doc's casino evil through one of his informants, who had told Sonic that Eggman had built a small army of android security guards for EG Security. It was easy enough to find Eggman after that since the Grand Mobius was the only place to employ EG security guards. Sonic also told them of the doctor's challenge. Now all they had to do was find his hideout.

"How do we find his hideout?" Asked Amy, ignorant to what the narrator just said.

"That's easy," Said sonic, "All we have to do is hang around the most desolate, run down area of Metropolis City and Wait for Eggman to attack us. Then we just defeat him and go home."

"Great plan, Sonic." Said Fi.

"Ray and I are in." Said Mighty

"Count us out." Said Bean.

"Why?" Asked Sonic.

"Bark and I have a convention to go to in Echidnaopolis. We've already bought tickets."

"Isn't that the big 'Mile-High Comic Con'. I didn't know you two were into that."

"We love the cosplay competition. Bark won third place last year. He dressed as Sephiroth."

"You'd rather cosplay than get into a huge battle!" Said Sonic.

"Eggman's probably just going top send out an army of E-100's and those stupid egg-pawns. It'll be a short fight. We won't miss much."

"Fine, whatever." Said sonic as Bean & Bark left for Angel Island It looks like it's just the 8 of us now. Lets hit the road."

"If we did that wouldn't we break our fists?" Asked Tails

"Just when I thought no more nonsense could spout from his mouth…" said Sally.

They all proceeded on to the city. It was a rather boring trip so I'll sum it up in this paragraph. They started in Emerald Hill and hitch-hiked along interzone highway 2 through emerald hill, the chemical plants, past the casinos and into the city. Now while the casino night zone separates the chemical plants from the city, there is a small section where they meet. The neighborhood there is run-down and almost completely deserted due to being so close to the poisonous chemical plants. The plants themselves were run by 95% robots, left over from when Eggman had taken over the island. Sonic decided that this neighborhood was the best place to start looking. They tried to take a bus there but it would only go so far before turning around, so they had to walk the last mile.

They finally made it, and when they did they wished they had remembered to pack gas masks. The smog was pretty bad.

"Where should we search first?" Asked Mighty.

"Well," said Sonic, "Its pretty dangerous around here. They say rouge robots wander the streets, dragging their feet like the walking dead…"

"Oh great, zombie robots. What next?" Said Fiona to herself.

"…so its time to split up, gang!"

"WHAT!" Yelled everyone simultaneously.

"Sonic, Were wandering around an area with zombie robots, just waiting to be attacked by Eggman to see what his latest nefarious plan is, and even though its safer to stay together you want us to split up?

"Yup."

"Ok. Just checking."

With that they all went their separate ways. The roads were dark and the allys narrow. By now the streetlamps were flickering one, that is, the ones that weren't blown out or riddled with bullets.

Amy was walking along when she felt someone behind her. She spun around and pulled out her hammer.

"Hello? I-Is there anyone there?"

the street was dark. Suddenly she saw the shadow of something moving behind her. She spun around again but nothing was there. She thought she could hear a faint humming. Suddenly she felt something hard come in contact with the back of her neck, and she fell into an inky void. As she collapsed she caught a glimpse of her assailant.

"S-Sally…why…"

Ray was never usually alone. He and Mighty always traveled together. He looked up to the armadillo like an older brother. He also looked up to Mighty since he was 10cm taller than Ray.

He had found an abandoned diner. He suddenly felt his stomach rumble. He realized he hadn't eaten since breakfast. Up on the wall was a sign. It said "Today's Special: Jill's Sandwich."

"I hope they have some left in the kitchen."

Ray went through to the back room. As expected there was no food to be had.

"Maybe in the freezer…"

He opened the huge steel door and stepped inside. It only took him a moment to see that it too was empty. Suddenly the door slammed behind him.

"What the…no, Ray, it was probably only the wind through the broken windows. Besides, this freezer opens from the inside…"

He went for the knob only to find that it wouldn't turn.

"Its probably just stuck. No need to panic yet."

Suddenly the room started to fill with a green gas.

"Knockout gas…crap…" Said ray as he fell to the floor

Suddenly the door opened. Someone grabbed Ray and pulled him up.

"Mighty…the gas…Mi-"

Ray lost consciousness.

Lien-Da had gone off east, and after a while ran into Fiona. The two decided to stick together and watch each-others back. Too bad for them it wouldn't be enough.

Soon they came across an abandoned nightclub (remember, the whole neighborhood was abandoned). They decided to go in and loot the place. Who wouldn't?

"I can't seem to find anything of value." Said Lien-Da

"Did you check the cash register?"

"First thing."

"Well," said Fi, "if there's one thing I learned from playing Fallout 3, its that there's always a safe in the managers office."

"You can check it out. I'll keep looking out here."

Fi went in the back while Lien-Da checked around the stage. She decided that then was as good a time as any for karaoke, and stepped up to the microphone.

"Tabidatsu junbi wa dekitakai

Mata hitotsu asa ga kuru

Atarashii shatsu ni kigaete

Kurayami wo nukedasou-

Suddenly her singing stopped.

"All I found back there was a case of Duka-cola and a few bottle caps. That's what I get for making a Fallout reference…uh, Lien-Da? Lien-Da? Where are you?"

(eerie silence)

"Come on LD, This ain't funny. Olly Olly all-in-free."

(continuous eerie silence)

"Are you in the bathroom?" Said Fi as she walked towards the door marked 'Gals'.

(eerie silence interrupted by a clanking noise)

"HA! I hear you," she said as she opened the door, "come on out-AAAAUGHHH!"

(sound of bodies being dragged, followed by more eeriness.)

After searching for several hours Sonic was getting tired. Eventually he had ran into Tails. They searched, but to no avail. Finally they came across a bowling ally that was abandoned (no shit). Suddenly a noise came from behind an abandoned car.

"Who's there!" Called out Sonic, ready to fight.

"Whoa whoa, its just me." Said Mighty as he came out of the shadows.

"How's the search going?" Asked Tails.

"Nothing so far." Replied Mighty "You?"

"Nada"

"Wanna break with a little game of bowling?" Asked Sonic, pointing to the allys.

"Sure, Why not."

They went in and had some fun. Tails found the breaker box and flipped on the power. Most of the lights didn't work but the pin-setters and ball-returners did. Sonic and mighty had a game wile tails went over to the arcade. There wasn't much left. There was an 8-bit Outrun model 1 cabinet, a pinball machine, pong, and Virtua Fighters 1. He picked the VF 1 machine.

"Lucky thing I have a popsicle stick with me." He said as he used it to max-out his credits.

When he hit start the whole machine started to shift. Behind it was a secret passageway, lined with blue and orange neon lights.

"Mighty, Sonic! I Think I've found something!" Called out Tails.

"Whoa, cool! Do you think this is the secret entrance to Eggman's secret lair"

"Well, considering this sign over here says 'Totally not the entrance to Eggman's secret lair' I think were on the right track."

"It also says 'Eggman is top! Sonic can kiss my…"

"Mighty!"

"Sonic can kiss my Mighty?" said Tails.

Deep in Eggman's secret lair the alarm had gone off. Eggman was now watching our heroes on his main monitor.

"Well, Sonic, it looks like you have found the entrance to my secret lair. No matter. Now, should I send them down the most treacherous path or should I just let sonic get here fast so I can pit them against my newest creation."

Eggman thought for a minute

"What am I thinking! Obviously I should send them down the most dangerous path…Except I'm really impatient and want to see my new toys in action."

Eggman pressed a button. Suddenly a trap door opened beneath Sonic, Tails, and Mighty.

"Don't look down!" Yelled Sonic, "If you don't look down you won't fall! It's the 1st rule of cartoons."

"Uh, Sonic," Said Tails, " That only works in AMERICAN cartoons. Last I checked, we're all Japanese."

"Oops."

With that realization they all fell down the chute. It brought them all down a long slide. It took them a full minute to get to the bottom. They went up, down, and around and around. It dumped them all out at Eggman's feet.

"Hey look…I have 9 tails…I'm so awesome now…" Said Tails who was dizzy from the ride.

"Ha! I've found you Eggman, and your evil clone, too!" Said Sonic, who was also somewhat dizzy.

"You'd better pull yourself together, Sonic, if you want to save your friends!" Said Eggman as he pulled a giant lever.

The whole wall rotated horizontally to reveal all of Sonics missing friends! (Not that he knew they were missing.) They're wrist were tied together above their heads and their legs were both shackled to the wall separately. They were also gagged. In order it was Sally, Fiona, Lien-Da, Amy, and Ray.

"Eggman, you evil man. Let them go!" Said Sonic

"Way too clichéd Sonic. Besides, you have to defeat my new robots! You wanted to know what ten billion could build, well, get a load of this!"

Eggman pulled another lever and a large door opened, revealing Metal Sally and Metal Mighty!

"If you want to save your friends you'll have to defeat these first! Metal Sally and Metal Mighty, attack!"

"I've got MetaSal. Mighty, get yourself. Tails, help the POW's "

As the battle started Eggman jumped into his Hovercraft and took off. From his control Room was a large tunnel that led outside. Eggman flew down it in an attempt to escape. Just in case.

The Battle waged on and slowly made its way down the tunnel. Tails, meanwhile, untied Ray from the wall. He started to untie Fiona but suddenly stopped.

"Wharrr arrrr yarrrr darrrin (What are you doing)." Said Fiona, still gagged.

"You know Ray," said Tails," in front of us we have 4 hot specimens of the female species…"

"Tarrrars (Tails)!" Yelled Sally.

"…Not only that, but all 4 are different species…"

"Trrrch rrre rrrrnd drrrri frrrrrx (Touch me and die, fox)" Said Lien-Da.

"…and I think we should find out if there are any physical differences between them."

"Rrrrrrsy srrrrrrrshhi (Rosie smashy)!" Said a transformed Amy.

"You know," Said Ray "they'll beat us to a pulp if we do anything to them."

"Yeah, I guess your right, but (he whispered) we could still cop a quick feel 'accidentally'."

"Do what you want. I'm going to avoid any potential beatings."

Tails smile grew into a sly grin as he faced the row of bound girls.

Anyways, Back at the battle…

Sonic and Metal Sally were now in a race, and had made there way out of the tunnel. Mighty, being slower, was still in the tunnel as he fought himself. Mighty was strong, and every punch he threw did damage to Metal. Unfortunately the reverse was also true. Mighty realized that his normal fighting wasn't working, So he decided to do something different. Metals are programmed with every move of the person they're modeled after. The best way to defeat them is to use a move that you would otherwise never even touch. Mighty always uses his upper body strength, so no one would expect him to use the opposite.

Mighty waited until Metal was barely 2 feet in front of him, and then he suddenly snap-kicked Metal upside the chin! Metal flew up and back. Before Metal could recover (or even _**land**_ for that matter) Mighty kicked him in the stomach, and he flew back and smashed against the tunnel wall. Mighty ran over and started to pound Metal while he was still on the ground. Metal tried to swipe at his legs but Mighty jumped and dodged.

"Time for a finishing move!" Yelled Mighty.

He grabbed Metal by the neck and held him of the ground with his feet hanging in the air. He pulled back his fist and punched mighty right through his turbine torso and ripped out his Chaos Drive core cylinder. Metal Mighty ground to a halt.

Mighty heard a noise behind him and spun around.

"Aaugh! A monster!" Yelled Mighty.

"Its just me, moron." Said Tails, who was covered in bruises and bumps and missing hair in some places.

"What happened to you?"

"You'd think someone who acts as loose as Fiona wouldn't mind if you accidentally pulled down her pants."

"You got a lot to learn, ya little perv" Said Fiona as she round the corner. She was followed by the rest of the gang.

"Where's Sonic?" Asked Sally.

"Fighting your Metal Doppelganger" Said Mighty.

Since he left mighty in the tunnel, Sonic had been in a fierce running battle with Metal Sally. They had raced out of the tunnel and onto the highway out of town. Sonic would swing his arm at Sally and she would duck and swipe her leg at the hedgehog, trying to trip him up. the battle went on like this for what seemed like hours, with Eggman flying above watching his creation at work.

It was beautiful, in fact. Metal Sally was polished to a mirror shine. She, like all Metal models, had a jet turbine for a torso. Its Stainless steel blades spun mesmerizingly as the sun shone off of it. She looked like an evil double. Her brown fur and red hair were all the correct shade. Eggman even went so far as adding the correct colored boots and an actual blue vest. It was a thing of beauty.

Sadly that beauty was soon diminishing. Sonic had finally gotten in a good swipe and cut Metal above her eye, so that now she had a trickle of oil running down her face. She at one point tripped and rolled, and while she got back up without loosing any momentum, her vest had become soiled and torn. Indeed, even her turbine had sucked in quite a few bugs, which had stained the blades until they no longer shone.

Sonic, too, had token quite a beating. His quills were all ruffled and he had several cuts and bruises from Metal's sharp fingers. He was still going, though, as was she. They eventually left the desolate highway and sped up the side of Mt. Origins in the Hill top Zone. It was called this because its an active volcano, and is thought to be most likely the volcano that created Westside Island, i.e, the islands origins. Interestingly enough, it was still active, and if you look down its creator you can see the glow of the lava.

"You know," Sonic said to Metal Sal as they sped up the mountain, "I know all of Sally's moves and tricks. There's no way you can beat me."

Suddenly two Gun barrels popped out of Sally's breast!

"How did I miss those?."

Metal S fired and sonic pulled back just in time. It was almost a dance as he spun around to avoid the barrage of bullets. Fortunately Metal models are not known for their ammo capacity, so she ran out in under a minute.

They were now at the lip of the volcano's crater. They fought with such speed that any onlookers would only see a blur. Sonic gave Metal a roundhouse to the torso, which she not only blocked but using his own momentum, grabbed his leg and spun him around. He went flying but recovered and lunged at her, landing a flying kick on her chest. As she fell backwards he swiped her legs out from under her, causing her to fall over backwards. Before she could get up Sonic leaped into the air, spun around, and landed his heel right in her jet props! Sonic jumped back and sally flipped herself up with her hands. However once she was up she faltered a little, and to an outsider it would look like she was dizzy.

"Oh no!" Yelled Eggman. "Computer, run diagnostics for Metal 002."

"Running diagnostics…Metal Sally running on 20% power. Catastrophic failure imminent."

"Nooooo!" Yelled Eggman.

"Well then," said Sonic, " I guess now's my chance then."

With that Sonic ran at Metal Sally. She tried to fly away but her turbine just let out smoke and made a horrible noise of metal-on-metal.

"Sayonara, Metal Sally!" Said Sonic as he leaped in the air and sent Metal flying back with a powerful kick. She flew of the cliff and rolled down towards the magma. She finally stopped just at the edge of a small rocky outcropping. She was barely hanging on. The sheer intensity of the heat caused her vest to self combust.

"Any last words, looser." Said Sonic from the cliff top.

"BEEP….WHIRRR…Suck…it…Hedgehog…" she said as she flipped him the bird. Suddenly her finger launched off her hand and towards Sonic! It was a mini rocket!

Sonic caught the finger-rocket in mid-air. Its jet was still burning.

"Now now, that's not very nice, bitch." Said Sonic as he took the rocket and flung it back at her. It hit its mark. The explosion flung her back and into the boiling lava.

"Ya know what they say, Doc," said Sonic to the disappointed doctor, "the only way to kill a Metal is by melting it or crushing it under a metal press."

"You may have won this time hedgehog, but next time I will be victorious." Yelled Eggman as he flew away.

"I doubt," said Sonic as he picked up a rock, "that changing your name to 'Victorious' would do any good."

Sonic threw it at the doctor's hover-craft, and as Eggman flew away he could see the black smoke flow out of where the rock made contact.

EPILOGUE

Sonic finally caught up with everyone. After Amy administered a little first aid to Sonic. They decided that the battle was a good climax to their adventure, and they decided that it was best if they went their separate ways. Even thought their trip only lasted a week, it was a great experience for all of them. They made their way to Westside International Airport, where they actually had money for the trip and didn't have to hide in the luggage area.

"So guys," asked Sonic, "where have you all decided to go?"

"Well," said Mighty, "Ray and I have decided to head to Station Square. Vector opened a detective agency and we thought we might join."

"I'm off to the floating island" Said Lien-Da.

"I'm off to the continent to do a little treasure hunting." Said Fiona. "What about you?"

"Me, Tails, Amy and Sally are headed back to South Island." Said Sonic. "We've all got tickets on the Dorner DO-X west-south special"

"Lucky." Said Fiona. "I'm stuck on another DC-3."

The sun was setting as they all boarded their different planes. As they flew off sonic looked out of his window as the plane circled the island. He could se all the different places they had visited while on their trip. As the plane flew away from the island, Sonic only had one thing on his mind:

I wonder what's their serving for dinner.

As Sonic flew away we see the volcano, and the scene of Metal Sally's demise. As we look over the area we can only bow our heads in remembrance and HOLY CRAP a metal hand just popped out of the lava! Its got me by the neck… AAAUGGHH

(Just Kidding…or am I?)

END

More pop culture goodness

Hyper Metal Mass Attack - If you're a super fan (and I mean a SUPER fan) you should know the old music album 'Super Sonic Dance Attack'. You might also remember that Metal was called Hyper Metal in the Sonic Movie. Fun fact: SSDA was the only Sonic album to be available on vinyl (as far as I know)

Jill's Sandwich - This is a reference to the diner at the Willamette mall in 'Dead Rising', which in turn is a reference to one of the most infamous lines in videogame history. From Resident Evil 1, and I quote, "That was close, you were almost a Jill sandwich." This line is the corniest in videogame history.

8-bit Outrun Model 1 cabinet - Arcade games come in several cabinets, usually a standard version and a deluxe version. Model 1 would be a stand-up cabinet with a wheele and pedals, but no seat. The deluxe model is sit-down, enclosed unit with a bright red paint job. I chose this one because it would be the least desired of all outrun machines, hence the reason its still there and hasn't been stolen.

Secret passage behind arcade machine with blue and orange lights - A not-so-subtle nod to TRON.

Karaoke - Lien-Da is singing MI-RA-I, which is the 1st ending theme of the Japanese version of Sonic X. Unlike its American music, the Japanese songs don't suck.

Duka Cola. - In 'Fallout 3' the main drink is Nuka-Cola. In Duke Nukem Forever, Duke has an over inflated ego (just look at his life bar) and has everything named after him. I'm just surprised that they didn't include a 'Duka-cola' soda. Or maybe they did and I just missed it.

Metal Sally's nipple guns - If you're a fan of Austin Powers movies then you probably remember this from the beginning of 'The Spy Who Shagged Me'. I happened at the beginning of the movie before the opening credits.

Metal and the lava - This scene is quite similar to the end of 'Sonic the Hedgehog the Movie', except that instead of the almost moving line that Metal sonic gives us on TV, Sally just gives us crass. I'm sure that some of you were expecting a line similar to the one in the movie, weren't you.

Rocket finger - At the end of 'Lupin III and the Castle of Cagliostro' the count used mini rockets in his gloves to knock Lupin off the clock tower. Quick fact: This is a must-see movie for any anime fan, no mater what you like.

Dorner DO-X - This plane is best known (at least here in otaku land) as the one featured in the best episode of Lupin III (Episode 144, Albatross: Wings of Death). It was the first episode dubbed of Lupin, done back in the early nineties. It can only be found on VHS under the title 'Tales of the Wolf: Lupin III's Greatest Capers'. It was directed by the same guy who does all the Ghibli films AND the Castle of Cagliostro. The plane itself actually existed. It was very underpowered despite having 12 600HP engines. They only built 3. None exist today, sadly.

Author's Notes.

So this is the end of the first arch of my story. Next time we'll have a different cast in a different locale doing different things that are totally not related to the last story whatsoever. Or maybe they will. I don't know, I haven't written it yet. I'm actually going to take a break on this story so I can focus on my Sonic manga on deviantart. It may be months till the next chapter, so don't hold your breath. P.S. I just want to say thanks to my one fan who actually cared enough about this fanfic to post a review.


	6. Dirty Dancing

Dirty Dancing

Author's note: I kind of lost interest with this chapter, but I decided to finish it to see just how well I can choreograph a battle. Don't expect much of the witty dialogue I usually have. Please review and tell me how well the fight is portrayed.

You might remember last time how our heroes all went their separate ways. Well, it doesn't really matter because this time it's a whole different cast in a different local. So if you don't remember the last story, then don't worry.

It was a dark and stormy night. Or maybe the skies are clears. Actually I don't know because I'm inside and frankly, I don't give a damn. Actually right now we're in a dank, dark boxing arena in a rather unsavory neighborhood in Echidnaopolis, on the floating island. The arena was packed so tight that there wasn't even any standing room left. Tonight was the biggest underground fight of the year. Its none other than the 'Echidnaopolis Underground Female Tag-Team Anything Goes Fight Tournament' or the E.U.F.T.T.A.G.F.T**.** The crowd was rowdy in anticipation for the fight.

As the clock struck 7:00 the lights dimmed and a spotlight flowed across the audience. Suddenly the announcer could be heard over the loudspeaker.

"Welcome everyone to today's fighting tournament. I'm Taro Yamada, today's special guest announcer. Joining me is my good friend, Hiroko"

"Fortunately, You didn't come here to listen to us run our mouths. So get ready for our first fighting team."

The spotlight settled on the entrance at the end of the runway leading to the ring

"Ladies and horn-dogs, please welcome the away team and our first fighters. They're trouble consultants for the 3WA and have the codename 'Lovely Angels', but are better known as the Dirty Pair!"

Kei and Yuri walked out towards the ring as 'Ru-Ru-Ru-Russian Roulette' played. The crowd was not happy. After all they wanted to see their hometown heroes, not some foreigners. They booed as Yuri flipped them the bird.

"And now folks" said Taro, "the pair you've all been waiting for. They fight for freedom and the right to bare skin. Its Julie-Su and her time-traveling daughter Lara-Su!"

With this the mostly Echidna crowd erupted in cheers as the mother/daughter pair ran down the aisle and somersaulted into the ring in unison.

Now it might confuse some readers as to Lara-Su's presence, since she is from the future. Well if Sailor moon's daughter can time-travel without the history changing paradoxes, then so can Lara-Su.

Now that that's out of the way lets return to the fight.

"Ok, girls, "said the referee," I want a clean fight…"

"Get lost!" yelled a voice from the crowd.

"…with no illegal moves. Now send your partner out of the ring and go to you're corner."

Yuri and Lara-Su left the ring while Kei and Juli-Su moved to the corners of the ring. A moment later the bell sounded and the announcer yelled 'FIGHT!'

Kei lunged at JS in an attempt to grapple her. As she grabbed her Julie slid down and between Kei's legs. As she stumbled forward Julie spun around and swept her leg across Kei's ankles, causing the already off-balance trouble consultant to fall over. Julie jumped up and tried to land on Kei, but she rolled out of the way just in time, and JS fell on the empty mat with a resounding 'Splat'. Kei spun on the mat and grabbed Juli's leg, twisting it back.

"Give up!"

"Never!"

Julie reached out and just barely managed to tag her daughter. Kei let go and rolled out of the ring as Lara vaulted over the ropes, landing a foot right in Kei's face, knocking her back. She was able to roll over backwards and recover. She followed up with a left roundhouse which Lara blocked. She grabbed her outstretched leg and countered with three strait jabs, causing Kei to go over and land on the ropes. She tagged out as a hard right landed on her jaw, causing her to become disoriented. Yuri jumped into the ring as Kei fell out.

"Well folks, "said Taro," it looks like this fight is in full swing. After only two and a half minutes in the fighters have used dozens of intense moves"

"Yes, "agreed Hiroko, " this is what a real fight looks like. Our competitors are giving it all, but it looks like Kei won't make it past this round."

"This could mean trouble for the Dirty Pair."

Lara-Su rushed Yuri, but she sidestepped and landed a high kick to her back. Lara bounced off the ropes and into Yuri's outstretched arm, which Caused her to rebound off the mat. Yuri climbed onto the prone echidna, rolled over, grabbed her ankles, and pulled her outstretched legs over her head.

Now Lara was on top of Yuri. Her legs were stretched out and everyone could see her groin very well. Cheers and whoops came from the audience, along with several wolf whistles and quite a few camera flashes.

"Damn, this is embarrassing." Thought the exposed echidna. "AAUGH! And painful, too! Time to turn this around."

Lara flipped over backwards, causing Yuri to loose her grip on the echidna's sweaty fur. Yuri rolled away from Lara and got to her feet just as Lara did the same. They starred at each other for a moment before they both charged. Lara gave Yuri a strong right roundhouse to her side, but Yuri had seen it coming and countered with a right snap-kick right between her legs. Being off-balance as she was the roundhouse threw Yuri across the ring instead of breaking her ribs. She decided to tag out anyways. Lara hadn't fared so well. That kick was the second shot at her lower region today, and it landed hard. So hard, in fact that its upward force had caused her feet to leave the ground. It almost made her throw up. She rolled around and out of the ring as she tagged her mother.

"Damn…I hope…that… doesn't…bruise." Was all that Lara-Su could manage to get out over the excruciating pain.

Now it was Juli-Su vs. Yuri. After seeing her daughter take that shot she wasn't about to go easy. She pulled out every move that she had. Yuri gave a left strait jab. But Lara moved left so that the punch missed. She immediately grabbed the outstretched arm, pulled Yuri past her, and spun her left leg around, giving her a hard kick to the upper back. This was all that LS needed. Yuri stumbled to the ground but rolled over and started to get up

"Haya! Got you now, bitch!" Yelled Juli as she gave Yuri (who was still on her knees) a snap-kick to the chin, causing the human to go flying over backwards. As a disoriented Yuri laid on the mat Lara climbed on the corner post and launched herself into the air, spinning her body as she did so. She landed a kick right to the solar plexus. Yuri let out a resounding 'OOF' and grabbed her mid-section. Lara immediately ran to the opposite end of the ring and started to cartwheel towards the wheezing girl.

"See Ya!" yelled Lara as her heel came around and landed on Yuri. In doing so she landed a perfect split.

"Yuri is out!" Yelled the referee. Kei climbed in as the medics hauled off her partner.

"Don't worry, partner," called out Kei, "I will avenge you!"

"She's not dead, you kn.." Juli was cut off by a foot that had almost magically appeared against her stomach.

"When…did…you…"

She could pearly speak. Suddenly a barrage of punches landed on her face. Kei was moving faster. She had gotten her second wind.

Lara stood there for a second, disoriented and a little dizzy.

"Her comes the good part," thought Kei, "embarrassment city."

"Hey, look over there!" Said Kei, pointing to somewhere behind Julie-Su. She turned her head to see what she was pointing at.

"Gotchya!" yelled Kei as she landed a hard right on her face. Juli stumbled back and out of her stupor. Unfortunately she was feeling quite weak, and it showed in her legs. Kei noticed.

"This is for my partner!"

Kei grabbed Lara, spun her around, and put her arms around her as if she was going to put he into a full nelson. Instead she grabbed a hold of the purple echidna's tattered tank top and tore it off! Julie's hair stood on end and her face turned Ferrari red as she slapped the humans hands away. The crowd erupted yet again. Juli instinctively covered her boobs and spun around to face her nemesis , at which point Kei gave her the world's loudest bitch slap.

Now that she was thoroughly embarrassed Kei moved in for the kill. She gave her punch after punch. The topless echidna tried to block but she was way too weak for it to be effective. Now juli-Su could barely stand. Kei ran to the opposite end of the ring, bounced of the ropes, and shot towards the wavering pile of fur at the other end.

"ITS NO USE!" She yelled to Juli as she launched herself into the air and landed a flying roundhouse to the echidna's chest. Juli flew backwards against the rope and collapsed.

"Juli-Su is out!" yelled the ref as she too was removed by the medics. As she was the bell rang.

The 15 minute round was up.

The remaining fighters took a moment to hydrate and rest, but after a minute they were back in the ring.

Now it was just Kei and Lara-Su.

"Don't think ripping my shirt off will distract me," said Lara-Su, "cause it won't."

"Not ashamed of our womanhood, are we." Replied Kei.

"Hardly. I'd fight buck-naked if I had too."

"Do you think you've got a chance of wining?" Asked Kei.

"Hell, even if I lose, If I can manage to bitch-slap you, It'll be a victory in my book."

"Well, you'd better start praying, cause it's the only victory you've got a chance at today!"

DING!

With that the second round was underway.

The two came at each other with their fists raised. Kei managed the first hit, a strait jab to Lara's nose, which started to bleed. Lara landed a right to her jaw but Kei held on to Lara to prevent her from putting any distance between them. Lara needed this distance so she gave her a nice head-butt to the nose, causing her to let go (one has to wonder why they even have a referee if there are no illegal moves). Lara stepped back and let out her triple kick special. First was a right to the gut, then she spun around halfway and gave her a left to the chest, then she spun around completely, switched feet, and used the momentum to give Kei an extremely powerful kick to the solar plexus. So powerful that it threw her across the ring. Kei hit the deck and ended up in the corner. Lara grabbed the ropes for balance and gave the girl several ground stomps before being pulled off by the ref (I knew he had a purpose).

Kei pulled herself to her feet and managed to regain her composure while her furry competitor argued with the referee.

Lara had turned her back on Kei, so she had time to set herself up for a powerful move. She ran up to Lara, planted her feet, and kicked Lara in the back. Fortunately Lara started to turn, so the kick only grazed her. She managed a right punch before Lara got her head back in the game. She blocked the next one but Kei landed two more to her gut. Lara backed away and bounced off the ropes. Kei misjudged her speed and punched too soon. Her fist found nothing but air. Lara grabbed that outstretched arm and pulled Kei towards her as she punched her in the gut. Lara held on to kei as she let off a barrage of rights.

At this point it was all over. Kei could barely stand. She was stumbling around. As much as Lara wanted to embarrass her it just wasn't practical. She would have to be content with just smashing her face in. Lara grabbed her shoulder and gave her three lefts to the face and one to the gut.

The crowd was chanting 'FINISH HER! FINISH HER!'. Lara-Su obliged. She grabbed Kei's head and slammed it down on her upcoming knee. The last lovely angel went flying over backwards as blood spurted from her nose. She landed on the mat, unconscious.

"Team Echidna wins!" Yelled the Referee.

"Woo-Hoo!" yelled Lara-Su as she pranced around the ring, striking poses and doing cartwheels.

"Take that, lovely angels!" yelled LS.

With that she was presented with the championship belt.

"Well that was an amazing fight, don't you think so." Said Taro.

"Yes it was… uh, Taro?"

"Yes?"

"I just realized that this entire time we've been broadcasting, we forgot to turn on the microphones."

"Oops"

The End

Pop-Cultureness

Dirty Dancing - The name of an 80's movie that I never saw. Also I called it this because fighters, footwork is like a dance, and they fight the Dirty Pair.

It was a dark and stormy night - The first line of Snoopy's book that he's continually writing.

Taro Yamada - The default name of Rent-A-Hero #1 in the Dreamcast game of the same name.

Hiroko - Rent-A-Hero #2

Various Wrestling moves - I don't watch wrestling because they talk more than they fight, so the only moves I know are from the videogame Rumble Roses XX. Those of you whom have played it probably recognized the spread-legged grapple, a signature move in that game.

See Ya - Ken's finishing yell from Street Fighter.

Its No Use - Silver's infamous catchphrase


End file.
